Cosplay Caption Contest
 

- Session #6 -

Welcome, ladies and gents, to another shocking-yet-strangely-satisfying collection of Cosplay Caption Contests.

In an attempt to mix things up a bit, I thought it would be fun to offer you readers a little challenge to engage in while you peruse the following set of cosplay images (besides seeing how far you can make it without having to evacuate your stomach contents, I mean). This ought to be a real treat for anybody who, like myself, grew up reading the I Spy books and spent countless hours getting lost in the imaginative picture riddles. I trust most of you already know how this works, but for those who don't, it's quite simple: Just read the following rhyme and use the clues contained within to find a number of easy-to-miss items located in the cosplay photos.

I spy a white feather, a yellow 'G', a homoerotic prop,
Five bare legs, and the missing fourth member of ZZ Top;

A cheap plastic sword, a baby looking bored, an invitation to fight,
A surprising ring, and eighteen sad people in costumes that bite.

Shit yeah, I learned how to bust rhymes on the streets, bitch! As soon as y'all done representin', go ahead and proceed to browse the eight hilariously-captioned images below while keeping an eye out for the objects alluded to in my crafty riddle. Have fun, folks!
 

Contest #41 (Originally ran 1/31/09)



Winning Caption:

Dude, Vegeta is eying that baby like a fat guy eyes a jelly donut... right before he fucks it.
- Kvitne

Honorable Mentions:

Emerging research indicates that hair cancer may be hereditary.
- Viashino_wizard

When the Dragon Ball universe got its own Kenny Rogers Roasters, all hope was lost.
- Badass Overlord

"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about the crappiness of their-"
"Stop asking me about the fucking scouter! The costumes suck, okay?!"
"Er... okay..."
- T_K_17
 

Contest #42 (Originally ran 2/07/09)



Winning Caption:

When M. Bison opened his door after hearing "Housekeeping, you want me to jerk you off?" he was expecting to see his childhood hero, David Spade, not this monstrosity.
- Kvitne

Honorable Mentions:

This is how Chun-Li really won Street Fighter: by eating everyone.
- Yaoi Huntress Earth

It was at this point that Mr. Bean began to question his choice of attire.
- Viashino_wizard

You think that's disturbing, wait until he/she/it tries a Spinning Bird Kick.
- NiGHTS Noob
 

Contest #43 (Originally ran 2/14/09)



Winning Caption:

In her tireless pursuit of man-on-man action, she failed to realize that she could get the same image by touching herself in front of a mirror.
- T_K_17

Honorable Mentions:

She's only so into yaoi because every guy she asks out claims to be gay.
- stjimmy

"I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you."
- Kvitne

Never trust mall gypsies.
- Badass Overlord
 

Contest #44 (Originally ran 2/21/09)



Winning Caption:

It's a Mexican Standoff between two retards who attempted to dress themselves that morning. How they got a hold of guns (golden ones, no less) will be a mystery lost in time...
- Shmeckie

Honorable Mentions:

The cognitive deficiency inherent in their nature has driven the Goth Cowboy to near-extinction.
- Viashino_wizard

They had to go with 'The Man With The Golden Gun' for their costumes to the James Bond theme night, because nobody was willing to Goldfinger them. Good night everybody!
- stjimmy
 

Contest #45 (Originally ran 3/07/09)



Winning Caption:

"Pooh Bear is dead, and out for revenge after the bees have finally killed him off. A/U darkfic. Piglett/Pooh. Read and review!"
- Crystal Ness

Honorable Mention:

"One Winged Pooh-Bear" (click here for lyrics)
- Shmeckie

Contest #46 (Originally ran 3/14/09)



Winning Caption:

"You must not race in this race, I tell you this because you have mental problems and a pet monkey, so I forbid you to race in this race against Racer X who is in no way your long lost brother Deter!"
- Badass Overlord

Honorable Mentions:

The low-budget attempt at a Captain Britain movie went straight to DVD. Said DVDs were then burned.
- stjimmy

Power Rangers Turbo: The version we never saw.
- The Two-One-Five

"...Following their auditions for The Fast and the Furious: Gangstas4life, Melvin and Theodore Brushwood were found shot to death outside of their two-story condo. More on this story as it develops."
- Hokori

Contest #47 (Originally ran 3/21/09)



Winning Caption:

"The Renaissance brought us some of the most inspirational artists the world has ever known. Now, the future has mangled these twisted visions into unspeakable horror. This July, Arnold Schwarzenegger is The Terminator. His mission: paint the Sistine Chapel red. Witness him carve his masterpiece of ACTION this summer. Terminator: Rise of the Renegade Renaissance Retards." Coming July 30th to a theater near you.
- TigerEyes

Honorable Mentions:

"My god...they all have the pig status effect...!"
- Badass Overlord

Aww, the special ed class decided to cosplay! Be careful not to tell Jerry he's not really Magus the Magnificent or he'll throw a fit, and no one wants that!
- Crystal Ness

Contest #48 (Originally ran 3/28/09)



Winning Caption:

Man, the George Lopez Show really jumped the shark...
- Shmeckie

Honorable Mentions:

He pilots Gundam Heavy Ass.
- Badass Overlord

Char's Counterattack 2 did not live up to the hype.
- Serra

That's it for this session, folks. Were you able to find all the answers to the "I spy" riddle in the intro? For an additional challenge, see if you can find a twisted belt, ribbons white and red, an 'X' made of felt, and at least six faces that make you wish you were dead. Good luck!

Want to join in on the captioning fun and have a chance at achieving internet fame? Just sign up an account on the Project AFTER Forums and then submit your own cuttingly clever comments to the Cosplay Caption Contest! Membership on the forums is totally free—a fact that goes a long way toward making our unconditional "no refunds" policy seem a lot less dickish.