Part VIII: "Powerpuff Girls
(As seen at
Well well well, it's been a long time since the last Comic
Release, hasn't it? Before we jump into the next installment of
"The Bleedman Chronicles", I'd like to take a moment and briefly
introduce myself. I'm Max-Vader, one of the members of this
website's fine forum community, and I will be continuing Comic
Release now that Cody Baier has become too busy with other
projects (like entering rehab).
As for me, I love One
Piece, hate Neon Genesis Evangelion, and loathe webcomic-writing
philistines like Vinson "Bleedman" Ngo. Reviewing all the
horrible webmangas that await me will be no easy task, but
regardless, dear reader, all I can do is keep moving forward and
keep this cynical tradition alive. Let's find that exit they
Powerpuff Girls Doujinshi is basically a gigantic crossover with every
Cartoon Network show ever and the voices in Bleedman's head. The
focus is on two shows in particular — Powerpuff Girls (which I
hate) and Dexter's Laboratory (which I barely know anything
about). The girls from PPG have been transformed from obnoxious
little children who abuse their superpowers into Bleedman's
personal fap-fantasy. Meanwhile, Dexter is... well, he's pretty
much the incarnation of what Bleedman does to the cast members
of shows he steals; a character from a fairly lighthearted
cartoon show that has been turned into an angsty shell of his
former self. If you combine Dr. Frankenstein, Dr. Horrible and
Shadow the Hedgehog while sucking all the personality, redeeming
qualities and fun out of them and replace it with 100%
Evangelion-brand angst, you'd basically get Bleedman's version
of Dexter. And he's the main character.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's start at the beginning...
To kick things off, we get a shitty cover that shows us that
Bleedman wasn't always the mediocre artist he is today. He was
actually worse at one time. He didn't seem to give a shit about
the anatomy of his characters, but he sure paid close attention
when it came to inserting his personal logo in the dead center
of the cover. Right now I'm a bit too surprised how much Emo-Dexter
looks like a young Dr. Horrible with bad hair to look at
anything else, honestly. Moving on to page two, we see the torso
of Professor Utonium telling the girls that they're moving from
Townsville to Megaville — what, did Crossoverville slip your
mind, Bleedman? — and I can finally get a proper look at our
female lea-- OH FUCK.
By Big Boss' manly beard, is this supposed to be a Powerpuff
Girls crossover comic or "Lolita the Porno 3: Cloning Cuties"? I
mean damn, those are some short skirts. I've seen anime
schoolgirls getting violated by tentacles who were showing off
less skin. On the plus side, this picture makes talking about
the personalities (if you can call them that) of the main
characters unnecessary, because they are one-dimensional enough
to be summed up in this one image alone. There's the Shy One,
the Angry One, and the Generic Leader-ish, Girly One (who craves
the tiny dick of our emo protagonist, by the way). I can see
Bleeedman put a lot of effort into this to make sure he was
creating interesting, well-rounded characters. By which I mean
he was doing nothing but jerking off.
I am aware, by the way, that the original Powerpuff Girls had
similarly flat personas to begin with. As you'll soon see,
however, this comic takes such an astounding number of liberties
with the source material that Bleedman had no excuse not to make
the tiny-titted trio a bit more interesting in the personality
The Powerpuff Girls soon get introduced to their new teacher,
who looks like the standard big-breasted teacher you've seen in
every anime and hentai ever made. Since actual womanly naughty
bits are icky to Bleedman, however, we won't see her put those
puppies to good use anytime soon. Apparently her name is Meryl.
Why she is called that, I have no Idea.
Also, Professor Utonium's face gets revealed and he looks...
well, he looks... GAY. No seriously, take a look if you think
I'm exaggerating. He makes Kaworu from Evangelion look like the
straightest man alive.
So yeah, Prof. Poof pisses off and the girls introduce
themselves with one of their overblown super-sentai poses. The
students actually have a normal reaction: They laugh. Except
Dexter, of course. He approaches them later in the schoolyard,
claims to be a Superhero himself and challenges them to a fight.
Buttercup immediately agrees, like the adrenaline-fueled retard
that she is. Also, for a superhero she's not only pretty
reckless but also immoral. Even if a seemingly normal stranger
challenges you to a fight, you shouldn't try kicking him in the
face with your full power if you've got enough super-strength to
bust through cement walls. It will most likely kill him. It
seems someone needs a lesson or two from Batman.
Obviously Dexter doesn't die because then the comic would be
over, or at least more interesting. Instead, he is suddenly
inside a crappy-looking robot suit. Since there was no place
where he could have hid it, I can only assume he pulled it out
of his ass. What a perfect analogy for this entire comic.
Anyway, they fight for a while and Dexter finally grabs
Buttercup by the leg and asks her to give up. For no reason,
Blossom sneak-attacks him even though there was no danger at
all. Good grief, they aren't superheroes, they're just children
who like abusing their undeserved powers. Ever heard of
responsibility? No? Do I have to get Spiderman in here, too?
Also, the last panel has pencil-lines all over it which is an
attempt to look stylized (I guess), but just comes off looking
like the panel hasn't been finished. It carries over to the next
fight too, because they predictably team up and kick Dexter's
ass. Then, after he's down, they attack him with energy-blasts.
Because heroes always kill their opponent when he was already
beaten and didn't even do anything evil. The protagonists don't
act like heroes, they aren't even on the level of villains, they
act like Superboy Prime. And that is not something you should
make your main characters. Fortunately for them, Dexter manages
to deflect their killing blow and causes an explosion. Fucking
fight scenes, how do they work?!
Suddenly, Samurai-teacher appears. Because Bleedman needs to
find an outlet for his Japanophilia. At least we finally get a
glimpse of the villains of this boring story. I can't even
describe them properly. This is godawful. FUCKING LOOK AT THIS
Words fail me.
Oh boy do I feel threatened by those guys! There's the four-eyed
blob of shit, the white-haired emo-loli, gay Mechagodzilla...
Truly all formidable opponents.
If you are done laughing and/or killing yourself after seeing
this, we get a pointless six-page mini-comic next. Bleedman
tells us we will get an important moral at the end. The short
version of the story is the girls are in a training simulation
but Buttercup pretends to be a Super-Saiyan. and then Bubbles
acts like Sailor Moon. The oh-so-important moral? "Too much
anime can be addictive." Damn Bleedman, you are really teaching
our little youngins out there some important shit! Anime can be
addictive? No fucking shit, I figured that out when I stayed up
all night watching the Impel Down arc. Totally worth it, by the
As the next chapter begins, we learn that the Samurai's name is
Jack. Oh great, yet another character from a show I have never
watched. Thank you Bleedman, your audience isn't confused enough
already. This is one of the reasons why most crossovers fucking
Jack lectures the girls and assigns Dexter the responsibility of
showing them around school, because apparently he has the
authority to do that. GEEZ, I TOTALLY DIDN'T SEE THIS ONE
COMING. Then Bubbles's ADD starts kicking in and she plays with
a pink dog named Courage. Good fucking luck following this story
if you don't watch a shitload of cartoons, by the way.
Jack has a flashback about the mutt and I am so beyond caring
right now it's not even funny. He and Bubbles go away and Dexter
starts blushing when Blossom asks him to tell them more about
Jack. Apparently the guy is super-amazing at damn near
everything. You might as well call him Samurai-Jesus.
Meanwhile, Bubbles plays with the dog when suddenly a robo-dinosaur
appears. Hey, why not. Courage gets Dexter and the rest of the
girls and the fight begins. The battle is boringly one-sided
with everyone getting their asses kicked until Jack shows up and
saves the day with the amazing power of Samurai ex Machina. Oh,
and Buttercup has a crush on him now. Awww. Makes me wanna hurl.
Apparently Mojo Jojo was behind the moster or some shit and
watches them from a corner like a creepy pervert. And he looks
like Anime-Beastboy with a beard now. What the fuck. He gives
his usual "curses, foiled again"-speech, but then the
white-haired loli appears and talks down to him and WHAT THE
FUCK IS WRONG WITH THOSE LEGS?!
What's that? A brand of girls' underwear?"
Bell, as she is called, starts choking him (I bet Bleedman
wishes he was Anime Mojo Jojo right now) and says her father
wants to talk to him. We also see her "friends", which are four
more shitty monster designs. Joy.
Chapter three begins with the main character from that horrible
My Life as a Teenage Robot cartoon getting curbstomped by the
Rowdyruff... Boys? Seriously, those guys are so goddamn
androgynous, they have transcended "Bishonen" and reached
"FUCKING HELL THAT'S GAY". The robot's "mother" is pissed off at
the guy who controls the boys, and I have no idea what's going
on anymore. Again. I did manage to figure out their stock
personalities though. Butch (a fitting name for Buttercup's
counterpart) is a retarded bully, Brick is the "evil
leader"-type with ambitions to be the best, and Boomer is a
daydreamer who's into girls. Meh. It's sad that I consider this
to be a slight improvement of the girls.
The girls have their second day at school, and get greeted by
Tootie from Fairly OddParents. Because if there's one thing a
comic like this needs, it's obnoxious evil stalkers. She and the
other girls have founded a Buttercup fanclub, because she was so
"heroic". Yes, getting eaten by monsters is very impressive.
Also, every girl at that goddamn school gets moist over "Sensei"
Jack, which is kinda creepy actually.
In yet another pointless scene, we get to see the robot from
earlier getting repaired by her "mother" and... some guy who
wants to bone her. Seriously. What is this, CWCville?
Back at the school, Dexter and Blossom bump into each other
while he was carrying books. Good gravy Bleedman, you really
want to use every cliché in the book, don't you? She even says
his eyes are "beautiful". Maybe she noticed that Bleedman
started drawing him even gayer now...?
In an extremely disturbing scene, Blossom thinks that she hasn't
made any friends yet. It seems innocent enough, but the fact
that Bleedman writes this and the fact that her dialogue implies
that Buttercup has lesbian orgies and she's into bestiality
sends shivers down my spine. Oh, and in the most "hilarious" of
circumstances she tries to befriend Mandy, who for those that do
not know is the incarnation of evil in her show. Oh, the
ham-fisted irony! Also, I haven't mentioned it until now, but
the constant panty shots are really bothering me. Seriously,
there's almost as much underwear on display here than in a
Victoria's Secret catalogue. And the would-be models are barely
in elementary school, for fuck's sake!
Somewhere else, white-haired loli brings Mojo Jojo before some
kind of techno-chair with monitors in an environment where
plants have fused with machines. I don't know what it is, but it
looks retarded. And on the chair sits Invader Zim with that
stupid dog-puppet thing all the asswipes on the internet seem to
love for some reason. Disregarding that, Zim explains that this
ugly place is called "Black Eden" (lame), but gets interrupted
by the real villains and is immediately sent off to cleaning
duty. The aforementioned four-eyed blob of shit introduces
himself to the Beastboy-lookalike Mojo Jojo as Dr. X (LAME).
Then there's a group of insect-machine-monsters called the Darkstar Council who want to conquer Earth as well (LA-- oh, you
get the idea). They work together and need Mojo Jojo to give
them information on the Powerpuff Girls for some stupid evil
plan. It's so convoluted that I'm not going to bother recapping
Moving on, Dr. Dumbass introduces us to Mandark, an evil boy
genius who wants revenge on Dexter for a later-revealed reason
that will make you want to shoot yourself from the sheer
stupidity of it. He plans to use Blossom as "damsel in
distress"-bait for his plan. Speaking of the little bitch, she
finds Dexter's secret lab in the school by spying on him and
discovers some abomination made out of flesh and machine parts,
but Dexter soon finds her and throws her out so he can be emo.
Then she talks to a character we have never seen before that
just exists as a plot device that can spew exposition. It turns
out that robot-thing is a replica of Dexter's dead sister, and
to show what happened (as if anyone cares) he conveniently pulls
the ability to do time travel out of his ass. This is honestly
some of the laziest storytelling I have ever seen in any medium.
To spare you the boring details, here is the short version:
DeeDee was retarded and always wrecked Dexter's lab but they
still loved each other and whenever he needed sagely advice, he
asked her for it (WHY?!). But then she suddenly went from an
airhead to a semi-naked hippie-guru for the sake of the plot.
I feel the same
Okay, I actually have to interject something here, because what
she says on that page is so goddamn stupid and disgusting. Her
philosophy can be summed up as "curing people from injury or
disease is wrong because it interferes with nature". Wrap your
mind around that. Sure, it isn't nearly as twisted as Bleedmans
9/11-escapades in Grim Tales, but
he still manages to offend me on a primal level, which is pretty
hard to do. I am not going to get into this much, so I'm just
saying that this kind of thinking has condemned millions of
people to agonizing and completely preventable deaths and
Bleedman should be ashamed for promoting it. That is all.
We skip forward in time and get to see the last fight between
Dexter and his arch-rival Mandark. After Bleedman rips off
Xiaolin Showdown, DeeDee throws herself in front of a death
laser that was supposed to hit Dexter in such an overdramatic
fashion that it's hard not to laugh. Mandark is all like "OH
SHIT, NO!" and Dexter takes the first step toward becoming a
full-fledged emo. Oh, and Grim gets a cameo to take DeeDee's
soul away, just so you can get reminded of THAT horrible comic
Remember when I made a Frankenstein-comparison in the beginning?
Well, Dexter does exactly that now. Using scrap-metal and some
organs he probably borrowed from Franken Fran, he begins an
operation to bring DeeDee back to life. And that... thing
suddenly says he promised not to bring her back. I have been
joking about this until now, bit it is really creepy. A sort of
"what in the world is going through this lunatic's head that he
thinks this is a good idea"-kind of creepy (and I suspect he
fapped to this as well). Not to mention, this shouldn't even
work. If something like a "soul" exists and the human body is
incapable of functioning without one, then scientific necromancy
is impossible by definition. Not that Bleedman would care about
consistency or coherence or any of that boring stuff that just
gets in the way of laser-show fight scenes and preteen panty
Dexter goes emo again and runs to DeeDee's grave, only to find
Mandrak there. He is also emo now, because he loved DeeDee. And
then we get... this bullshit:
Try not to
laugh. I dare ya.
One rapid scene-change later, we are back at the school. Blossom
took the stupid backstory a bit hard, so she sits on a hill and
mopes. Goddamn, why are all the main characters such whiny
bitches? We are reaching Naruto-levels of melodrama, here!
Stupid dog-puppet-thing appears again and the white-haired loli
called Bell starts attacking Blossom whilst we are treated to a
shitload of panty shots. Also, we get a really weak Matrix
parody. And Blossom gets mad because she is weaker, I guess.
Chapter five continues the boring fight and, because Blossom
sucks, she uses the dog-puppet as a shield to attack Bell. She
breaks down crying, the puppet vomits on our female protagonist,
and all is right again for her. Mandark appears, talks about
"punishing mean little girls" (talk about a Freudian Slip for
Bleedman — did he mix in some of his pick-up lines by mistake?)
and sends the super-generic Darkstar-dumbasses after her.
Somewhere else, Mr. Plotdevice from earlier (called Otto) gets a
package from Mandark, while Dexter dreams about Blossom,
possibly while touching himself. Since Bleedman was too lazy to
do anything himself, he simply inserted a lot of fanart for him
into the panel. Which is pretty ironic, as you'll see later. Oh,
and we get a cameo from Cosmo and Wanda. All these random-ass
crossovers are starting to annoy me.
Otto calls up Dexter with the message he got from Mandark. It
says they will end this tonight and he got Blossom, Dexter tells
Otto not to let anyone interfere since it's HIS fight, blah blah
blah you all know how the cliché goes. He then calls up Coop
from Megas XLR, thus dragging yet another decent, undeserving
show into this convoluted mess of a comic.
Blossom wakes up in Mandark's fortress, and he gives his
villain-speech while dressed in a battle-suit that makes the
Power Rangers look dignified. Meanwhile, Dexter and Coop have
arrived and he uploads some kind of new battle data which turns
out to be DeeDee's ballet-dancing. The previously cool mecha-truck
looks really gay now. Mandark is stunned by this and dreams
about DeeDee some more. And then he snaps out of it and sends a
girl with a bee-robot after them. In case you are wondering, no,
it doesn't make any more sense when you read it yourself.
Coop tells Dexter to go on alone, which he does. While he busts
out the desperation-attacks (already?!), Dexter climbs the tower
while Dr. Dumbass in pajamas and Invader Zim in a French Maid
outfit (yes, you read that right) watch it on monitors like the
perverts that they are.
The next few dozen pages are overflowing with shocking
revelations that will leave you spellbound if you're really into
the PPGD mythos, or facepalming dangerously hard if you're not
an idiot. Through tons of agonizing exposition we lean that
Mandark is emo because of his hippy parents, and he now follows
Dr. Dumbass because Bell tricked him into believing she was an
angel with a message from DeeDee. I find it funny that someone
so obsessed with logic and science believes in angels just
because a girl glued wings to her back and wears an obviously
fake halo, but whatever. We also find out that Bell is the
daughter of Dr. Dumbass (the fuck?), and learn the details of
their evil scheme that no one cares about.
Before the next chapter begins, we get a shitty recap for the
readers who have ADHD and have already forgotten what happened
one page earlier. Dexter shows up for the climatic final battle
with Mandark, which is oddly made up mostly of dumb sight gags.
Meanwhile, Blossom is trapped in a glass tube and being slowly
drowned as if this is Tank Girl all of the sudden.
Predictably, Dexter's love for Blossom lets him defeat Mandark.
He smashes the glass, but Blossom is sorta dead already. Whoops!
We see Grim (NOT AGAIN) try to take her soul but DeeDee appears
as an angel to stop him and uses her "charm" to persuade him
to let Blossom live.
Hmm, that must be how he got together with Mandy... Who knew
Grim was a pedophile.
After I almost had to puke from all the sappyness, Blossom comes
back to life and gets hugged by Dexter. With Coop having won the
surprisingly lame mech battle outside and the other two
Powerpuff Girls showing up as reinforcements, all seems well
for our heroes until Mandark decides to go Guy Fawkes on their
asses and tries to blow everything sky-high in twenty seconds,
himself included. Bleedman then tries to lighten the mood a bit
with a cooties joke. It doesn't work.
Luckily for them, Coop saves everyone from the explosion. Well,
except Mandark, that is. We then cut to Black Eden, where
Dumbass and Zim play Destroy All Humans because Bleedman is the
pinnacle of wit. Bell is upset for some reason and destroys the
TV, blaming Dr. Dumbass for letting Mandark die. He then does...
Yet another one
of Bleedman's fantasies, no doubt.
Later on, Mandark's little sister appears in front of the rubble
of his doom-fortress and picks his glasses up. Wow, what a total
shocker. And so ends chapter seven, and the first "issue". You
know, just like Highlander, there should have been only one.
That alone is already painful enough, but no, Bleedman decided
to write more. And thanks to that, we are treated to yet another
of his ridiculous drama-wankfests... IN SPACE!
Ooookay, let's see... As I previously stated, this comic is
abusively boring. However, this segment is even more pointless
and uninteresting, so I will summarize it in one sentence: A
snake-robot with tits from the Darkstar Council wants to destroy
earth, a space-loli finds out, almost dies, and then gets
rescued by a Silver Surfer-ripoff. There. I have summed up about
a dozen pages where literally nothing happens. You're welcome.
Back on earth, Dexter is fighting the tentacle-monster of the
week. He fails, but Blossom comes to save him by stealing
Superman's ice-breath. Buttercup throws it in the air (while
Bleedman draws her ass and even points it out in the title) and
Bubbles smashes it. So much for interesting battles. Naturally,
they fly back to school, where we get to see that Olga is now
one of the students. Plus, she is the best dancer EVAR. Bubbles
immediately speeds over to her table and a lot of blabbering
later, Olga invites her to some dance try-outs. She drags
Blossom along, and Dexter watches for some reason. We can also
see Waldo in the audience, which is almost funny. Emphasis on
The lights go out, and anyone with a brain immediately figures
out that Olga is responsible so she could bring Dexter to fix
them. He also accepts her offer to become stage manager, because
he's kind of an idiot that way. Somewhere else, Buttercup is
trying to learn Kendo from Sensei Jack. And by learning Kendo, I
of course mean "beating the shit out of everybody". This gets
her a parent-teacher conference. Professor Utonium is, of
course, overjoyed. And I am still wondering what the point of
all this is.
In yet another scene — yes, the comic is really jumping around
that much — Dr. Dumbass has sent his daughter into space, so
that she drops a huge hourglass on the moon. As it turns out I
gave him quite an appropriate moniker, because he is a Haruhi
Suzumiya fan. That explains a lot, actually. Anyway, Mandark's
amazing emo-powers seem to have possessed Bell, because she
starts moping that she doesn't have any friends. As if
commanded, a Japanese space-prince (really) appears to befriend
her, and I swear to the God-Emperor, if this guy gives even the
slightest hint that he's a self-insert by Bleedman, then I am
going to burn something. Preferably Bleedman.
On a side note, should you ever give up on life and get the
desire to read this comic for yourself, try reading Bleedman's
comments on the pages. They're some of the most
hilarious/depressing pieces of writing you will ever see.
Back to Prince (as I will call him), he gets curious about the
stupid dog-puppet, but Bell starts attacking him. After she has
calmed down she asks him his name and he responds with one of
the stupidest introductions ever.
She then assumes he's a ghost for some reason and flies back to
her dad. Yeah.
The most recent pages have jumped back to "sitcom anime" mode,
with Jack (Daniels) and Professor Utonium coming up with wacky
ways to control Buttercup's temper, Bubbles training to become a
pop idol, Blossom pining for Dexter and his renewed emo-ways,
and an utterly pointless beach scene added in so Bleedman can
draw underage girls in skimpy swimsuits. Then things suddenly
get dramatic again as Olga publicly accuses Dexter of killing
her brother (although technically, the dumbass committed
suicide) and tries to stab him.
Congratulations, you are now caught up on the plot of Powerpuff
Girls Doujinshi! Bleedman will probably continue expanding it in
weird and incest-y new directions, but fuck that noise. I am
Just a few more words about his writing in general before we
(finally) move on: It is atrocious. The story has no consistent
focus or flow, the pacing is all over the place, nothing makes
sense, the characters' motives are a mystery for the most part,
there is melodrama up the ass (even though this is based on
children's cartoons), the fanservice is ridiculous, the
exposition is unbearable, the fight scenes are disjointed, and
everything is boring as fuck.
Whew. Alright, let's continue with...
Since this is Bleedman's earliest work and is still updated to
this day (MAKE IT STOP), it is fair to say there is some
observable improvement. Way too little for six years worth of
practice, but there is at least a slight effort in the art
department, even if the anatomy is as atrocious as ever. What I
think happened is that Bleedman himself noticed that he can't
draw proportions for shit, but instead of trying to improve, he
just thought to himself, "Eh, I'll just make that my style and
call it a day." In the real world we call that LAZY.
Bleedman's cutesy cartoon-style is actually fitting for the
subject matter now (unlike with Grim Tales From Down Below), but
seems jarringly out of place whenever it's Super Serious DRAMA
Time. And the character (and monster) designs are shit. All the
imported characters are hideous thanks to the original designs
being mixed with clichéd anime features in the sloppiest way
possible, and his "original" characters look even worse. And
since he makes no effort to improve himself because his fans eat
that shit up, he will likely never evolve his art skills far
enough to get past all the mistakes that plague every image he
Thanks to Cody, you're already familiar with some of Bleedman's
pedophilic antics, so I'm going to tell you something else about
him. As mentioned in the previous review, he is in fact the most
popular "artist" on DeviantArt. And yet, although his over 9000
mouth-breathing fanboys love him (despite the fact that he's a
completely reprehensible human being), he loathes all of his
fans. Yes, he hates the people directly responsible for his
How and why douchebags like Bleedman get so much recognition,
I'll never know. There are millions of people out there more
deserving of praise and admiration who would actually appreciate
it that people like them and their work, yet this asshole has so
much undeserved popularity it's not even funny. But what do you
know, apparently filthy closet-pedophiles with gargantuan egos
are popular with your average anime fanboy. Just ask Tim
You know, it only slightly bothers me that people like Bleedman (read: walking advertisements for atheism) exist. The
fact that many of them are so ridiculously popular, however, and
constantly get showered with praise and accolades for half-assing
utter shit is what pisses me off like all hell. Let's just hope
that Bleedman either gets hit by a train, or his fanbase wakes
up and realizes what a fucking talentless waste of space he is.
Personally, I'm hoping for the former.
Alex's AFTER Thoughts
I despise terrible fanfiction. That fact should be obvious to
anyone who has spent even a few minutes reading this website,
but I think it deserves repeating here to emphasize my feelings
about Powerpuff Girls Doujinshit. Bleedman's miserable
magnum opus is, after all, essentially just another lousy
crossover fanfiction in webcomic form. Subpar spelling and
grammar don't comprise every single color in the awful fanfic
rainbow; at its core, every bad fanfiction a poorly-conceived
plot that exploits popular characters for the sake of the
author's own twisted motives. PPGD fits that description
perfectly, and the fact that it's made up of pictures instead of
text does nothing to dilute how passionately I loathe its
One reason I generally avoid reviewing crossover fanfiction on
PA is because it's difficult to keep track of just how much I
hate the author depending on what series and characters are
being bastardized at any given moment. PPGD reminded me of this,
as I experienced as wide range of anger while reading through
the archives. While I could care less what Bleedman does to
paper-thin heroines Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup (or, as I
personally call them, Bitchy, Brain Damage, and Bisexual),
seeing him bishounen-ify Dexter and the cast of Time Squad was
much harder for me to take. And whenever Samurai Jack made an
appearance, all I could think about was ripping off Bleedman's
head and drop-kicking it into a grain thresher.
At least this is a comic that can bring people together; with so
many different series featured, anyone with even a passing
interest in cartoons is bound to have something they like get
transformed into some hackneyed faux-anime bullshit. Whether
you're black or white, Democrat or Republican, Muslim or Jew,
you can always find some common ground with your fellow man
knowing that all our favorite Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon
characters have been utterly ruined by a maniac obsessed with
Something else I have to gripe about real quick is how ineptly
Bleedman blends humor and drama (or what I'm sure he'd like us
to interpret as humor and drama) in this comic. The plot
frequently dives head-first into the most ridiculous, ham-fisted
melodrama I've ever seen in any form of storytelling, and
Bleedman's attempt to counterbalance that with comic relief
consist of drawings of super-deformed characters doing something
horribly unfunny shoved into the corner of every other page.
Fucking seriously, Bleedman? That's your best effort to
prevent your comic from becoming too overemotional?
To give you an idea of how effective these far-too-damn-numerous
SD sight gags are, imagine a typical episode of Law & Order: SVU
with all the overblown emotional theatrics that show is known
for. Now imagine that, after the detectives have interviewed the
sobbing rape victim of the week, Christopher Meloni's character
attempts to lighten the mood a bit by pulling out a punching nun
puppet and having it tell a series of knock-knock jokes. That
kind of insane tonal shift happens so frequently in PPGD that
it's hard not to think the comic is trying to make you have a
Heavy-handed drama does not mix with insultingly juvenile visual
gags, just as western cartoon shows do not mix with an
exaggerated anime aesthetic and a script pulled from some lonely
otaku's archive of rejected manga storylines. Bleedman has such
a poor sense of how to combine things that it's no wonder he
thinks his limp little worm dick would look good stuffed inside
a third grader's mouth.
Speaking of which, I know good ol' Cody left you folks with a
promise that a certain hack artist's lust for little children
would be explored in detail, but Max and I have decided to save
that little slice of hell for the "Bleedman Chronicles" finale.
While waiting for that, now might be a good time to take up
excessively heavy drinking.
'Till next time!