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Super-Secret
Extra Bonus Page
(A Shocking
Revelation! The True Evidence That Fred Gallagher Drew
Pornography!)
Holy shit, how did you ever find this page!? I hid it so
well... My goodness. If you somehow got here without help, then
congratulations to you, Internet Detective.
What follows is some highly classified info and half a dozen
pictures that may very well land me in jail. You see, Fred
Gallagher, the famed author of Megatokyo, drew some softcore
pornography a number of years back. Since then, for reasons
known only to Gallagher himself, he has decided not only to deny
ever producing such material, but also to prosecute those who so
much as speak of his handful of dirty drawings... And while all
cases have supposedly been handled without the lawyers having to
do more than placing a few phone calls, there's no telling when
Gallagher is going to follow through with one of his threats and
get serious. By actually providing irrefutable proof of the
forbidden porn's existence like this, I'm half expecting a SWAT
team to break down my front door within a few moments of
publishing this page. I'm not fooling around here folks; the
internet is serious business, and I'm already neck-deep in one
of the biggest cover-ups in the history of the world wide web!
This is like some Da Vinci Code shit, people!
Let me back up a little bit here, though... The full story
behind these images is a fairly long and complicated one. In a
nutshell, though, Fred once drew a series of images during his
early days on the internet that he called "Blurred", all of
which featured female characters either partially nude or in
sexually suggestive poses. As Megatokyo became increasingly
popular and Fred himself gained some level of notoriety,
however, he suddenly decided that he didn't want his name to be
associated with any kind of pornography (possibly so he could
come down that much harder on people who drew hentai of his
characters without looking like a hypocrite, or so goes my
personal theory), and took the necessary measures to erase any
and all evidence of the Blurred pictures having ever existed.
Unfortunately for Gallagher, what he failed to realize is that
one of the fastest ways to draw attention to something is to
pretend that it doesn't exist. Over the years, people who
remembered his porn began asking questions about it, and while
most inquisitors were either force-fed filthy lies or
mysteriously silenced, rumors nonetheless spread that naughty
images born of Fred Gallagher's sweaty hands were out there
somewhere, waiting to be discovered like some legendary treasure
spoken of in myths of days long past. The hunt has been on ever
since.
While these pictures have surfaced a number of times on a number
of different sites, most of them seem to disappear over time.
Whether this is Gallagher's doing, or simply because the people
responsible for posting the images come to realize that they're
awful to look at and not arousing in the least, I can't say for
sure. All I know is that, as a man who easily develops vendettas
against people I've never even met, it is my duty to show these
pictures to the world for the sole purpose of further
humiliating Fred Gallagher.
Though I doubt it needs to be said, the following images are not
safe for work (unless you happen to work for one of those
underground child pornography magazines, in which case you
should be good to go). Also, while the images have been scaled
down to fit on this page, I give you my word of honor that they
are otherwise 100% unedited and unaltered from the source where
I originally found them (just in case you thought maybe I hired
a mentally handicapped 3rd grader to sketch some girls in
their underwear and claimed Fred Gallagher did it).

And here we see the first installment of Gallagher's Shame.
Somehow, the freckles really up the whole "creepiness" factor of
this image... It's like Fred went back and added those in later
because he didn't think the picture looked jailbait-y enough.

I know it's probably passé by now, but man does that hairdo make
me want to throw in a 'There's Something About Mary'
reference here... Also, note the subtle nip-slip there on the right
breast.

Show me the man who can masturbate to a drawing of an eleven-year-old girl with ridiculously oversized pigtails, giant
alien bug eyes, and uneven breasts with freakishly dark areolas,
and I'll show you a man the world would be better off without.

Looks like she was in the middle of doing some homework there...
Well girlie, I hope for your sake that one of those books was on
how to survive getting raped!

Either that is the most enormous computer tower in the entire world, or
she can't be any more than three or four years old. And if that's the
case, then why did Gallagher give her strangely blocky Fred
Flintstone feet?

Holy shit, this one actually looks like she might be legal! Is
this an example of a rare moment of sanity on Gallagher's part,
or merely a decoy to throw off the FBI? In either case, Fred has
already featured far racier depictions of gals in their
unmentionables in a number of Megatokyo pages, so why he'd give
a damn if anyone saw this image is beyond me...
And that's more or less what all the fuss what about. Six crude,
barely-pornographic drawings that no one would have given half a
shit about if Gallagher hadn't gone to such insane measures to
keep them hidden from the public's eye. He should have just
accepted the fact that once you put something on the internet,
you can never really take it back. Once it becomes a part of
cyberspace, it's out there forever where anyone with a computer
and a modem can see it. The moral of this bizarre story? Don't
be a dumbass and post something on the internet that you'll
regret later in life. (Note: This is also a
really good lesson for anyone who has a webcam or is considering
writing fanfiction.)
To be perfectly honest, I can't fault Fred Gallagher for making
these images. Although the whole 'underage' element present in
most of those images is pretty fucking messed up, that aside,
I'm not going to condemn someone for drawing pictures of naked
women. Hell, if I had any artistic ability whatsoever, I'd
probably draw nothing BUT naked women. What really makes
Gallagher come off as such a sleazeball in this whole affair is
the way he not only lied about making those images, but actually
went so far as to threaten people with fucking lawsuits all
because they posted them on a personal webpage or an image
board. Do you really think you're such hot shit that you need to
go to such extreme lengths to protect your personal image, Fred?
This is what the internet does to people, I guess... Give any
random shmuck off the street a moderately popular webcomic and
suddenly he thinks he's some kind of fucking celebrity who has
the right to drag people to court over defamation of character.
I don't know what the repercussions of this little expose will
be, or if there will even be any. If Fred Gallagher ever sees
this page and considers me a worthy target for his network of
trained loli assassins, though, I want everyone reading this to
know that I died fighting. Like the handful of other sources
that were brave enough to reveal these images before me, I have
fought not just for myself and my own personal rights as an
American, but for something much greater... I have fought for
the TRUTH! The truth may not always be pretty (as looking at the
above images undoubtedly proved to us all), and it may not
always be easy to tell, but I believe that it is always
worth fighting for! Because no matter what your enemies may take
away from you, they can never take away the truth.
For everyone out there who has ever lost their life or their
humor website in the never-ending battle to preserve the
glorious truth, this tribute is for you. Godspeed, my fellow
freedom fighters.

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