Super-Secret Extra Bonus Page

(A Shocking Revelation! The True Evidence That Fred Gallagher Drew Pornography!)

 

Holy shit, how did you ever find this page!? I hid it so well... My goodness. If you somehow got here without help, then congratulations to you, Internet Detective.

What follows is some highly classified info and half a dozen pictures that may very well land me in jail. You see, Fred Gallagher, the famed author of Megatokyo, drew some softcore pornography a number of years back. Since then, for reasons known only to Gallagher himself, he has decided not only to deny ever producing such material, but also to prosecute those who so much as speak of his handful of dirty drawings... And while all cases have supposedly been handled without the lawyers having to do more than placing a few phone calls, there's no telling when Gallagher is going to follow through with one of his threats and get serious. By actually providing irrefutable proof of the forbidden porn's existence like this, I'm half expecting a SWAT team to break down my front door within a few moments of publishing this page. I'm not fooling around here folks; the internet is serious business, and I'm already neck-deep in one of the biggest cover-ups in the history of the world wide web! This is like some Da Vinci Code shit, people!

Let me back up a little bit here, though... The full story behind these images is a fairly long and complicated one. In a nutshell, though, Fred once drew a series of images during his early days on the internet that he called "Blurred", all of which featured female characters either partially nude or in sexually suggestive poses. As Megatokyo became increasingly popular and Fred himself gained some level of notoriety, however, he suddenly decided that he didn't want his name to be associated with any kind of pornography (possibly so he could come down that much harder on people who drew hentai of his characters without looking like a hypocrite, or so goes my personal theory), and took the necessary measures to erase any and all evidence of the Blurred pictures having ever existed.

Unfortunately for Gallagher, what he failed to realize is that one of the fastest ways to draw attention to something is to pretend that it doesn't exist. Over the years, people who remembered his porn began asking questions about it, and while most inquisitors were either force-fed filthy lies or mysteriously silenced, rumors nonetheless spread that naughty images born of Fred Gallagher's sweaty hands were out there somewhere, waiting to be discovered like some legendary treasure spoken of in myths of days long past. The hunt has been on ever since.

While these pictures have surfaced a number of times on a number of different sites, most of them seem to disappear over time. Whether this is Gallagher's doing, or simply because the people responsible for posting the images come to realize that they're awful to look at and not arousing in the least, I can't say for sure. All I know is that, as a man who easily develops vendettas against people I've never even met, it is my duty to show these pictures to the world for the sole purpose of further humiliating Fred Gallagher.

Though I doubt it needs to be said, the following images are not safe for work (unless you happen to work for one of those underground child pornography magazines, in which case you should be good to go). Also, while the images have been scaled down to fit on this page, I give you my word of honor that they are otherwise 100% unedited and unaltered from the source where I originally found them (just in case you thought maybe I hired a mentally handicapped 3rd grader to sketch some girls in their underwear and claimed Fred Gallagher did it).



 
And here we see the first installment of Gallagher's Shame. Somehow, the freckles really up the whole "creepiness" factor of this image... It's like Fred went back and added those in later because he didn't think the picture looked jailbait-y enough.
 


 
I know it's probably passé by now, but man does that hairdo make me want to throw in a 'There's Something About Mary' reference here... Also, note the subtle nip-slip there on the right breast.
 


 
Show me the man who can masturbate to a drawing of an eleven-year-old girl with ridiculously oversized pigtails, giant alien bug eyes, and uneven breasts with freakishly dark areolas, and I'll show you a man the world would be better off without.
 


 
Looks like she was in the middle of doing some homework there... Well girlie, I hope for your sake that one of those books was on how to survive getting raped!
 


 
Either that is the most enormous computer tower in the entire world, or she can't be any more than three or four years old. And if that's the case, then why did Gallagher give her strangely blocky Fred Flintstone feet?

 

 
Holy shit, this one actually looks like she might be legal! Is this an example of a rare moment of sanity on Gallagher's part, or merely a decoy to throw off the FBI? In either case, Fred has already featured far racier depictions of gals in their unmentionables in a number of Megatokyo pages, so why he'd give a damn if anyone saw this image is beyond me...


And that's more or less what all the fuss what about. Six crude, barely-pornographic drawings that no one would have given half a shit about if Gallagher hadn't gone to such insane measures to keep them hidden from the public's eye. He should have just accepted the fact that once you put something on the internet, you can never really take it back. Once it becomes a part of cyberspace, it's out there forever where anyone with a computer and a modem can see it. The moral of this bizarre story? Don't be a dumbass and post something on the internet that you'll regret later in life. (Note: This is also a really good lesson for anyone who has a webcam or is considering writing fanfiction.)

To be perfectly honest, I can't fault Fred Gallagher for making these images. Although the whole 'underage' element present in most of those images is pretty fucking messed up, that aside, I'm not going to condemn someone for drawing pictures of naked women. Hell, if I had any artistic ability whatsoever, I'd probably draw nothing BUT naked women. What really makes Gallagher come off as such a sleazeball in this whole affair is the way he not only lied about making those images, but actually went so far as to threaten people with fucking lawsuits all because they posted them on a personal webpage or an image board. Do you really think you're such hot shit that you need to go to such extreme lengths to protect your personal image, Fred? This is what the internet does to people, I guess... Give any random shmuck off the street a moderately popular webcomic and suddenly he thinks he's some kind of fucking celebrity who has the right to drag people to court over defamation of character.

I don't know what the repercussions of this little expose will be, or if there will even be any. If Fred Gallagher ever sees this page and considers me a worthy target for his network of trained loli assassins, though, I want everyone reading this to know that I died fighting. Like the handful of other sources that were brave enough to reveal these images before me, I have fought not just for myself and my own personal rights as an American, but for something much greater... I have fought for the TRUTH! The truth may not always be pretty (as looking at the above images undoubtedly proved to us all), and it may not always be easy to tell, but I believe that it is always worth fighting for! Because no matter what your enemies may take away from you, they can never take away the truth.

For everyone out there who has ever lost their life or their humor website in the never-ending battle to preserve the glorious truth, this tribute is for you. Godspeed, my fellow freedom fighters.

 

God Bless America!