Humble Beginnings
An editorial by Alex Barry

If you're reading this, then that means the Official Project A.F.T.E.R. Homepage is up and running, and I can finally rest my weary and broken spirit. It's been a rough couple of weeks, and I'm not just saying that because of the electrical fire that destroyed half my house, or the number of mafia-induced beatings I experienced when trying to find a way to pay for the needed repairs. The real bulk of my trouble can be blamed on my battle with learning the code of evil that is HTML.

In case you couldn't tell by the minimalist color scheme, the uninspired layout, or the disappointing lack of any decent amount of content, this is my first website. Chastise me if you will, but do it knowing that I've put myself through hell for the last couple of months in order to make this site a reality. Honestly, if someone had told me that learning HTML was such a bitch, then I can assure you that you would not be reading this page right now. However, I was naïve and optimistic, and making my own website sounded like it would be a fun experience with minimum difficulties. I now know that I was mistaken. Don't think that I'm just exaggerating to gain your sympathy, either... I'm a first-time webmaster who doesn't really know what the hell he's doing, so just cut me a little slack. I don't come to your website and bitch at you, now do I? ...Well, not unless you own one of those five or six random sites that I sent a ton of hatemail to because I was bored a few weeks ago. Sorry about that.

Anyway, my journey toward owning my very own little chunk of cyberspace began back in early June of 2003, when I got this crazy idea that it would be fun to write something in the field of comedy on the internet. I had just finished writing the end of DB-Cut (a DragonBall Z parody series I did for a site called Dutchgoku.net, which is now sadly deceased), and I was already contemplating what my next undertaking would be. You see, writing comedy on the internet is a lot like smoking; it's extremely difficult to stop once you've started, no matter how quickly it destroys your life and drives people away from you. Besides, after spending an entire year and a half writing DB-Cut, it was sort of weird not having a weekly submission schedule to follow (although, as anyone who read the series can tell you, I wasn't all that good when it came to actually keeping to that schedule). I had gotten used to turning in something every week, and it didn't seem right that I should just be sitting on my ass not writing anything. Finding a real job or getting involved in after-school activities and things like that never even crossed my mind... Oh no, I wanted to continue living the sweet life of spending hours of hard work on projects that I'll never get paid for and won't earn me any credit whatsoever with my real-life acquaintances, but might possibly make someone on the other side of the country who I'll never meet in person chuckle for a brief moment.

I decided without hesitation that I was going to continue riding the digital wave of success by brainstorming another series I could write and submitting it to some lucky website that would immediately adopt it as a permanent, ongoing feature and shower me with gratitude for lending them my immense talent. Looking back on that idea, it's almost kind of funny how well I was able to bullshit myself into thinking that it was a reasonable plan... Needless to say, things didn't exactly go down as smoothly as I had anticipated.

Before I got the chance to stare into the grim face a failure, though, I had to think of what I was going to write. It had to be something anime-related, since that was one of the precious few subjects I actually had a fair amount of knowledge about that hadn't already been completed tapped out by other humor sites, and it had to be something that I could stretch out over a long period of time. I thought about these guidelines and contemplated the possibilities for quite awhile, but to no avail... And then, out of nowhere, it hit me. An idea so brilliant, it was as if someone had packed a shotgun full of genius and unloaded a couple rounds right into the back of my skull: "Why should I bust my hump writing original material when I can just steal someone else's!" Thus, Project AFTER was born!

Though I've gotten a lot of questions about it, the invention of the series' title was rather unceremonious. I originally came up with it as a sort of code name in order to show I was still doing something after DB-Cut (which was just winding down at about that time). At some point later, I ended up solidifying as the project's official title after figuring out that it made a nifty acronym for Anime Fanfiction: Twisted Entertainment Review. And that's what my new feature was going to be about; I'd take fanfictions based on various anime series I had read that I thought were poorly written (because there was sure as hell no shortage of those) and "review" them by inserting my own running commentary. It was similar to the widespread 'MST' subgenre, except with two key differences: 1) No back story or "host segments" would be present in my version, and 2) I wasn't going to base it around the concept of a cast of characters mocking the fanfiction. That system was too played out, and I found it too contrived anyway. Project AFTER was just going to be me, the fanfic, and a whole mess of brutal honesty. Simple and easy, right?

Within a week or two, all the details were squared away and I had finished a short preview of what the series was going to be about (that was, of course, the infamous Pilot Episode which you can view here). The next stage of the plan was for me to send the pilot to a variety of websites that each looked like they would make a promising host for the series and then collect their feedback. It was only halfway successful in that I did send the pilot to several sites, but I never heard back from any of them. Unsurprisingly, I got discouraged rather quickly and eventually fell into a deep depression.

The ensuing weeks were a bewildering whirlwind of booze, prostitutes, fake identities, and long, cold nights spent sleeping in an abandoned Eurovan with a pair of homeless hippies and a talking cockroach named Sir Rodger Evansworth III. I knew I needed help badly, and through unparalleled willpower and a renewed sense of purpose thanks to Mr. Evanworth's words of wisdom, I checked myself into rehab and got cleaned up. One problem was solved, but the fate of Project AFTER was still up in the air. Seeing no other choice, I decided to wait and see what destiny had in store for me.

Another week or two went by and still no simple answer presented itself. I knew then that the only way to save this sinking ship was to face one my greatest fears: Making my own website. After hearing so many of my computer-savvy friends talk about all the complicated technical procedures and crap that went into creating a website, the idea of having to delve into such a time-consuming (and boring) project sounded extremely unattractive.

I didn't like the idea of having to go through so much trouble for a single feature, but I also knew that there were some definite bonuses to owning my own piece of webspace. Besides having a secure host that would never turn me down, I could also write additional features if the desire ever struck me, and even *gasp* call myself a webmaster! Pretty soon I was high on my own ambition, and the task of creating a website seemed far less daunting. ...But then I discovered that HTML is the tool of the devil and my life was made miserable again.

I'll spare you all the tale of my tiresome search for a free server, and merely mention that I eventually got fed up and decided to just pay the damn monthly fees and get a decent host. Once that was done, I began taking care of all the tedious little tasks such as writing all the commands and designing the layout. The best part was when my work kept getting erased before I figured out how to properly save the files I had made. Even now, I can still hear myself sobbing in the corner of my room, too tired to even tie the rope to the ceiling fan to hang myself. Finally, a few days before I expected to open the site, I released this teaser image:
 

Pretty sweet, huh? Times New Roman font + unnecessary motion blur effect + abstract smoky background = totally sick Photoshop skillz. Unfortunately, it turned out that my expected opening date would be quite far off the mark. You see, I was all ready to open my glorious website when I suddenly came to a startling realization. "Oh, that's right. I coded the layout just fine and all but I forgot to actually make any content to go in it. Shit... Shit!" And so, I finally began doing what I had set out to do all along and got to work writing Project AFTER.

It's been a rough ride to say the least, but now I'm open a ready for business. If you're reading this close to the opening of the site, then you can see that things are still relatively primitive. The site itself is, in my eyes at least, finished, but there's still a lot of empty pages to be filled with wonderfully wacky content. I've got a lot of fun stuff planned, though!

...Heh, well, not really. But it should be interesting to see what I come up with at the last minute while under the pressure of having to update the site for the first time in six months just to get the hate-filled e-mails to stop for a few hours.

In the meantime, please enjoy Project AFTER. I'll try to update the series often, and by that I mean whenever I feel like it. You can also take a peek at all the other fun features lying around in the Other Stuff section. I'll try to update those as often as I can, too. And don't be shy about sending me e-mail. I love reading messages and feedback about the site. If you've got comments, questions, suggestions, or you just feel like cursing me out, it's all good. As long as I get the attention, I'm happy. Oh, and don't forget to donate! It's a great way to ensure that this site will be around for a long time, and I really need the extra cash to support my compulsive gambling ill mother and father overseas. You don't need to donate a lot, just a small token of your appreciation for me fighting to protect you from bad anime fanfiction. Every little bit counts. I mean, if everyone who visited this site only donated just one dollar, that's like, four dollars right there.

Well, that does it for my first editorial! To recap, building this site has been a hellacious test of my endurance, but in spite of that I'm sticking with it. Because I'm stupid. I hope you can come along and enjoy the site's future development as well, and in return for your readership, I promise to do the best damn job I can to make you laugh. And on that note, thanks for supporting this first-time webmaster who doesn't really know what the hell he's doing.

Alex Barry - 8/30/03