According to aging songwriters
and television commercials for wireless phone companies, the
holidays bring with them a great bounty of joy and cheerfulness,
not to mention fantastic savings on the newest paper-thin cell
phone model that's guaranteed to break in half if you so much as
set it down on a hard surface too quickly. Unfortunately, for
roughly the past decade, the holidays have also adopted the
trend of bringing a fresh wave of terrible amateur writing onto
the internet. Seasonal fanfiction seems to become more abundant
every year, with the fics that take place on or around Christmas
being especially plentiful. It's terribly ironic that the day
intended to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior has
brought us some of the very worst of the horrible fanfiction
that plagues mankind, but that's the sad reality of it.
Whether foolishly optimistic or grimly determined, some people
do attempt to fight back against the horrors of holiday-themed
fanfics. One such indomitable individual is Liz Hastings, who
has proven herself to be quite skilled in the field of
fanfiction fighting on a number of occasions. Perhaps her
greatest battle was against a work by the infamous Bumblebee, an
author that regular readers of this site should already be
familiar with. The story was an especially potent concoction of
insanity--even by A Happy Little Bumblebee's usual
standards--titled "Yokai Christmas". After seeing it debase both
the names of an internationally-celebrated holiday and several
Yu Yu Hakusho characters in one fell swoop, Ms. Hastings
sprung into action and brought the fic's reign of terror to a
swift and hilarious end.
Like all great Christmas tales, this entry in The Bumblebee
Chronicles is destined to be retold for countless generations to
come, no matter how much the members of those future generations
may come to regret the preservation of this twisted tale. Now
that yet another of Bumblebee's crimes against humanity has
found a permanent home here on Project AFTER, no one will be
safe from the mental images of gay sex involving
strawberry-flavored lube ever again. - Alex
Guest Special: "Yokai Christmas"
(A 'Yu Yu Hakusho' fanfiction by A Happy
I first made contact with this fanfiction a little over a
year ago, and being new to Project A.F.T.E.R., I was still a
bit naďve as to the amount of trash that actually leaked
(or, in some cases, shoveled itself) onto the internet.
Since then, I've seen things that could be considered far
worse than the story that you, dear reader, are about to
experience (which I completely blame on a lack of good
judgment on your part).
However, even now, I can't seem to get over the uncanny rage
that fills my heart every single time I think of this story.
You see, I really like Yu Yu Hakusho. I enjoy the
action and the storyline tremendously, as well as the
characters, heroes and villains alike. That right here is
probably the main reason why this fic continues to get me so
riled up. Everything that I like about the show is
completely absent in this story, only to be replaced by...
Well, you'll just have to read on to find out, won't you.
Yeah, I'm still continuing Don't
Say A Word, but I just wanted to write something closely
reminding horror... (after watching too much Silent
Hill-videos and watching my friend play Fatal Frame...the
scariest games ever...(no, I haven't played either. And I
really don't want, I'm such a scaredy-cat.)
This is what you may call an
extremely late Christmas fic.
Considering the fact that this was written in June, then
yeah. I'd say it's kinda late. We're off to a promising
start, aren't we?
I don't much care, the idea sounded
good, so there you are, then.
Don't you just love it when people write things for no
apparent reason other than to purposefully torture their
readers? I know I do.
It's my first Hiei/Kurama story,
I don't think it really matters if it's your first or your
fiftieth. No amount of experience can render that premise
any less awful.
so, while I enjoy criticism, no
need to be nasty, like saying it's downright crappy. That's
just rude. But, I hope you like it, I worked pretty hard.
Oh, and the people are a bit OOC, just a forewarning to you.
But here it is.
Disclaimer- I don't own anything except the plot. Oh, and
not Ragnorok, though it's fantastic stuff!
Uh-huh... Don't really know what to say to that just yet.
Happy Little Bumblebee
Kurama stared in his mirror,
fussing with the single stray hair he just couldn't settle. It
was rather annoying, he had wanted to look absolutely perfect.
*Sigh* Alright, I think we all know that Kurama is not this
conceited. Actually, he's probably the least conceited person on
this entire show. You just have to admire the raw talent that it
takes for an author to completely mutilate the personality of
one of the main protagonists inside of the first paragraph of
her story. It's pretty impressive.
He sighed happily, the last hair
finally staying put.
Then, he heard a tapping on his window.
Kurama smiled and shook his head. Only one person, er, yokai,
would enter through his window.
It's a well-known fact that Hiei only goes through the window
because he can't reach the doorknob.
"Hello, Hiei," he said, puling the
window shut. His short friend eyed him up and down.
Here come the catcalls...
Kurama was dressed in a red shirt with
dark green flair pants.
"Why," he said, sounding disgusted, "are you wearing that?"
Hiei: Not like I'm asking you to take it off or anything...
"I'm goin to a Christmas party ar
Kurama: And from there, we be searchin' fer the map to aid our
quest to seek the gold doubloons. Climb aboard, matey!
Though I doubt you enjoy a human
holiday," Kurama said, pulling a few presents from his closet.
"You're right, I wouldn't. When is this party?"
"Eight o'clock," he said. "I'm leaving very soon."
You can just feel the uneasy tension in this scene.
"How soon?" he asked, eyebrow arched.
"Now," Kurama answered, nearing the door.
Seriously, Kurama is grinding his teeth together so
hard his jaw is about to crack.
Kurama reached for the doorknob, but
was stopped by Hiei appearing before him.
Horror movie music can be heard playing in the background as
Hiei brutally murders Kurama.
"Then I'm coming."
"Why do you want to?"
"I came to see you. I plan on doing so."
Wow, I wonder if he came to see him because he suddenly realized
his true feelings for him or something painfully obvious like
that. I certainly hope not. Actually, Hiei's reasons for
visiting Kurama will probably remain a mystery forever, so don't
even worry about that.
Kurama shrugged. "Whatever you wish, I
"Then let's go," Hiei said, exiting the room.
Kurama laughed quietly and closed the door behind him.
Kurama: The fool has no idea... Heh heh heh heh...
'This promises to be quite amusing,' he
* * *
As they neared the Spirit Detective's house, Hiei felt something
cold smack into the back of his head.
For my sanity's sake, let's hope it was an ice pick.
He reached for the spot and pulled snow
from his hair.
"Why did you throw snow at my head?" he asked Kurama.
Kurama is acting all passive-aggressive to keep the anger from
completely overwhelming him.
"Because," the red-haired boy said, a
slight trace of a laugh in his voice, "I thought we could have a
At eight o'clock at night, in the dark. Good idea.
Hiei stared at him for a few moments.
Kurama: What? Do I have something on my beautiful face?!
*Frantically whips out a compact mirror and a flashlight*
Hiei looked from Kurama to the snow,
and eventually said, "That's stupid."
"It's actually rather fun. Usually, I get some hot chocolate
afterwards from Mother. She makes it better than anyone,
especially Yusuke's mother. She puts alcohol in it."
Bumblebee: Atsuko's not in this story because she's probably out
getting wasted somewhere. Remember, kids, drinking is wrong! Oh,
and don't forget to come to my house after the fic! I'm having a
gay porn slumber party! *Squeals*
Hiei kicked a growing pile of snow and
continued to Yusuke's.
No snow pile is safe from Hiei's wrath.
"It's much more fun to torment others
with something more painful."
Kurama put his hands on his hips.
*Sigh* And so it begins...
"How come nothing can just be for fun?"
"Tormenting others ~is~ fun," the short yokai called back.
The fox shook his head and ran to catch up with Hiei.
Yeah, because Kurama is such a rookie when it comes to the
concept of killing people. He just doesn't understand anything
about poor Hiei at all.
"You know, at least in snowball fights,
~everyone~ has fun."
Hiei looked at Kurama, eyes narrowed.
"I don't care about other people, or yokai."
Just leave it as "people"! I mean, it's not as if you're saying
"humans" or anything, so what does it matter? Is this some weird
kind of political correctness crap?
"Of course you do!" Kurama said,
putting an arm round Hiei. "What about me? Or Yusuke?"
Hiei: All right, all right, I confess! I've secretly harbored
many fantasies about you ever since I first laid all three of my
eyes on you, but I've been too filled with the fear of rejection
to tell you! ..... I mean... What?
"I could care less about a simple
human. I suppose you may be different."
"I guess that should be a compliment. Coming from you, anyway,"
he said, grinning.
"Whatever," Hiei replied. Typical way for him to end a
'Oh well,' Kurama thought carelessly. 'We're there, anyway.'
It's over? Already?! Woo hoo!
As he thought this, Yusuke opened the
door to greet them.
"Hey Kurama!" he said happily. "And
you've brought our favorite silent yokai. Hey, Hiei!"
Hiei sent him a look and walked in.
"Sorry about him, he'd come over right before I left."
Kurama: That Hiei is such a party animal! Uh, I mean... Yokai!
"Hey, the more the merrier, I never
say!" He nudged Kurama and looked toward Hiei. "But there's a
first for everything on Christmas, isn't there?"
Kurama blushed lightly at this little tease. Yes, he'd liked
Hiei for ages, but he'd never dream of making a move! Should he?
It is Christmas, after all.
...Excuse me?! WHERE did this come from?!
As these thoughts ran through his mind,
an orange-haired thug bounded over screaming at the top of his
lungs. "Fox Boy! FOX BOY!!!"
Yusuke: Oh God! Everyone, take cover!
Everyone leapt out of Kuwabara's way, but he still managed to
trample them as he bounded across the yard. For the unfortunate
souls caught in his path, it would be... A Red Christmas.
Kurama shook his head slightly. "Hello,
"Hey, c'mon, we're gonna open up presents! Don't stand by the
door all night!"
"Of course, let's go," Kurama said, walking with Kuwabara to the
area round the tree.
And the tree was truly magnificent. Multi-colored lights were
sparkling brightly in the dim living room. Several silver and
gold bulbs had been hung on the branches, reflecting the lights
and everyone's happy faces. And, at the very top of the tree,
was a beautifulangel, dressed in silver that glittered
brilliantly. It was wonderful. Even Hiei seemed to like it
Hiei: Must...resist...urge to...destroy all life...
"Alright," Yusuke said, clasping his
hands together. "Let's pass out presents!"
The others nodded in agreement and pulled out their gifts. As
the passed them out, Kurama noticed Hiei off by himself.
I wonder what's wrong with Hiei. It's so unlike him to be all by
himself! What gives, Bumblebee?!
Kurama smiled slightly.
He got up from his seat and walked over to the raven-haired
"What?" he asked harshly. "The others are waiting for you."
"I'm sorry," Kurama said, "but I came to give you your present."
Hiei looked up at the fox. "What?
Kurama smiled and held out a small, wrapped parcel to the man
Oh, so he's a "man" now, is he? Are you sure you don't mean "yokai?"
Psh, you racist.
"For you. I didn't believe you's want
to come to a party, but I wanted you to recieve a present from
First Kurama's a pirate, now he's in the Italian Mafia? What's
next, is he going to randomly become gay?!
Hiei took it from the outstretched
"What is it?"
Kurama: Poison. Er, I mean it's poison. I mean it's sake!
Right... Sake. Drink up.
Kurama shook his finger at him.
"The point is that you don't know. It's more fun."
"Stupid human traditions."
Hiei just hates anything that doesn't involve him killing
things. Which, I can sympathize with... Still, he's the one who
wanted to come to this party.
Kurama grinned and walked back to his
"Alright!" yelled Kuwabara happily. "Let's open these!"
The three boys seated around the tree tore into their presents
excitedly, whilst Hiei continued to stare at his own.
OK... I guess Hiei didn't really want to know what it was after
"Wow, wicked!" Kuwabara said, holding
up avery oddly named movie with a very nakkie lady on the cover.
A very nakkie lady as opposed to what? A lady who's only a
LITTLE nakkie? I detest all bastardized forms of the word
"naked" by the way, but that's just me.
"Knew you'd like that!" he said, giving
his boyfriend a small sqeeze.
Wait, did I miss something? Like why he'd OH GOD SEIZURE
"WOAH!" Yusuke shouted a moment later.
"Kurama, how'd you know I liked 'Ragnorok'?"
I have to admit it, I have no idea what "Ragnorok" is. So far,
I've come up with three possible explanations:
1.) She misspelled "Ragnarok" as pertaining to the Norse myth,
as in a book about it or something.
2.) She misspelled "Ragnarok" as pertaining to the online game
or the anime based on it.
3.) It's some kind of porn.
"Just a guess," the boy answered. "But
I must thank you for this stuffed fox."
"Weird, ain't it? Reminded me of you!"
Kurama: *Sarcastically* I wonder why. No, seriously! SAY IT!!
Hiei looked at the fox plush. He did
look like Kurama. Silvery fur that almost shimmered, and a very
Hiei's eyes widened and he turned away from the others.
Hiei has just come to the startling realization that he's
sexually attracted to plush toys.
Soon, a yell from Kurama brought him to
"Kuwabara, why in all of Spirit World did you belive I'd need
this!?" he yelled, blushing like mad, holdong up a pair of silky
red crotchless underwear.
Bumblebee has just achieved an all-new level of low. Party at
her house! Bring your own knives! ...I mean beer... Uh... The
knives were for cutting the cake, Officer. Yeah...
"I think you know perfectly well why
you'd need those!" he yelled back.
Actually, I don't think ANYONE knows perfectly well why Kurama
would EVER need those! ...On second thought, I don't really want
to know. You never can tell with these fanfics. No wait, yes you
can, and that's where the fear comes from...
Hiei looked positively disgusted with
this. Though, he was rather curious about how Kurama may look in
them... (Wow, little Hiei's mind is in the gutter....)
Yours will be too, once I'm finished with you. I'll just throw
the rest of your body in the sewer.
"Just shut up and open the present from
me!" said Kurama, putting his underwear aside, but leaving the
fox in his lap.
"Yeah, yeah...."Kuwabara mumbled, ripping the paper off. "Cool!
More porn! I love you guys!"
Kurama: ...Actually, it's not pornography. Those are educational
videos about African tribal culture. Why would I get you
Kuwabara: This is the worst Christmas EVER!
"I think you love your movies more!"
"Dern straight!" Kuwabara said proudly.
Hiei rolled his eyes. That one oaf was worse than he thought.
As opposed to the second oaf who wrote this terrible story.
"Only ones left are yours and Hiei's,"
Kurama said, pointing to the present in Yusuke's lap.
"Okay, let's see it then!" He began to pull off the wrapping,
"Is this nasty, Kuwabara?"
Whatever would make you think that, Yusuke? That's just crazy
The boy put on an innocent expression.
"I wouldn't dream of it!"
"Yeah, I'd like to believe it..." he said, finishing the paper.
He froze when he saw the contents.
"You gave me... condoms..."
Yusuke: Damn you Kuwabara, your Christmas gift is a box full of
"And," Kuwabara added, "some strawberry
PLEASE! I don't want to know!!!
"I can see that!" Yusuke yelled, not
really wanting to hear it said aloud.
"My boyfriend, the perv."
Oh, and you're NOT a pervert? ...Wait, you mean your friend who
just happens to be a boy, right? RIGHT?!
Kuwabara sat on Yusuke's lap and kissed
him gently on the lips.
Two of the straightest guys ever are now kissing each other.
This is the sign of the Apocalypse. I always knew fanfiction
would be responsible for the end of the world.
"Would you want it any other way?"
Yusuke grinned and kissed him back.
Well, that wasn't going to be my answer, that's for sure.
Kurama had long since left those two
and sat himself next to Hiei.
Kurama: So, did YOU know that they were bisexual?
"So," he asked quietly. "Are you going
to open your present?"
He did, and as the gift came into view, Hiei froze. In his hands
was a framed photograph. That alone was more than he had
The fact that it was framed
exceeded his wildest dreams.
However, what, or rather who, had caught his eyes was the
smiling face on his sister, Yukina.
"Um," Kurama said nervously. "Do you like it?"
Hiei: ...NO! I TOLD you that I wanted a pink pony! *Chucks it
out the window and runs away, crying hysterically*
"When did you take this?" he asked,
still staring at the photograph.
"Before she left after we had ~beaten~ the Toguro brothers. I'd
been planning to give it to you since then for Christmas."
Yeah, 'cause that whole Dark Tournament thing was just a
get-away trip that involved such luxuries as taking pictures...
'It's perfect...' he thought,
awestruck. 'The best gift I've ever recieved...'
Hiei, however, merely coughed and stuck the photograph in a
conveniently sized pocket. "Thanks," he said sarcastically,
"I'll treasure ~that~ forever."
Hiei makes me laugh.
Kurama's entire face fell immediately.
Though he really hadn't expected a major shower of emotion from
Hiei, a thank you would have been pleasant. Maybe a small smile.
'He hates it...'
Honestly? I think Kurama expected too much out of him. Besides,
it's not like Hiei actually lives anywhere right now, so he
won't have any place to keep his picture except for that
"conveniently sized pocket". Even then, it would eventually get
broken or lost due to the many violent battles that were
completely left out of this fic due to reasons I sincerely doubt
I'll ever understand.
Hiei saw the hurt in the fox's emerald
eyes and turned away.
"Okay, well.... you're welcome, Hiei." The red-haired teen
turned and walked bak to Yusuke and Kuwabara, who were still
arguing about Yusuke's 'special' gift.
Yeah, because that's a topic I really want to return to.
She knows I'm kidding, right? Right?! Crap, I forgot that she
doesn't care about her readers' wellbeing for a second there.
"What's wrong with it?!" Kuwabara
"You should know! I HATE STRAWBERRY!" Yusuke screamed back.
Hey, thanks for the scarring mental images, I'll treasure them
forever! No, really, I mean it!
"Well I'm ~sorry~ if I made a little
mistake! You're not perfect either!"
"Of course I am! Just look at me!"
"I'll do more than that!" Kuwabara said, pouncing his love.
What. The heck.
"Perv! There are guests here!"
Well, there's THE GUESTS, there's me, and there's everyone else
reading this story. Except, Bumblebee doesn't really care, so it
looks as if they're going to press on anyway. Joys upon joys.
"Geroff me!!" he yelled, throwing
Kuwabara off and running away.
Finally! Someone showing a shred of good sense.
"You can't escape!"
Yusuke ran screaming into his room and slammed the door in
"Hey, Urameshi, you can't stay in there forever!"
"Yes I can!"
As idiotic as all of this is, I'm actually wishing that nothing
else would happen for the remainder of the story. Speaking of
extreme idiocy, why did Yusuke get Kuwabara porn - let alone
STRAIGHT porn - for a Christmas present if they're going out?
I'm starting to believe that Bumblebee is living in my attic and
only writing this to anger me even further.
As they continued their little quarrel,
Hiei began to feel even more guilty. Why had he been such an
arsehole? He'd loved the gift! Why couldn't he just say so?
Kurama: Hiei's being so insensitive! That's so unlike him!
*Comforts himself by whipping out his compact mirror and
flashing himself a dazzling smile*
Finally, drawing in a deep breath, Hiei
stood and walked over to the fox yokai. He seated himself before
'Yes, Hiei?" Kurama said, a trace of sadness in his voice. The
fire yokai almost winced at this. He hated to see his friend so
"Well...." he began. "It's the present you gave me."
Hiei: Do you still have the receipt?
Kurama looked up, his eyes shining with
tears. "I'm sorry. I really thought you'd like it. Dispose of it
if you wish," he paused. "I guess it really doesn't matter."
"No.. I mean that..." he twisted his hands, something extremely
rare to see the usually composed yokai do. "I liked it. Very
Yes, it is extremely rare (read: out of character) for Hiei to
twist his hands out of nervousness. At least you can admit it.
We must always admit our mistakes before we can correct them.
Kurama looked up into Hiei's eyes. "You
really mean that?"
Hiei nodded, smiling slightly.
Kurama grinned and ran a hand through his hair.
Kurama: Ouch, I think I pricked myself... Stupid rose.
"I'm glad. I had really hoped that
you'd love it."
"I guess... I do."
"Kuwabara, leave me alone!" Hiei and Kurama turned quickly in
the direction of the yells.
"Don't make me use me gun! I'll do it!"
So, now Yusuke is what, Irish? These new accents are so
Wait a minute, why would Yusuke shoot his spirit gun at Kuwabara,
damaging his own house/apartment/whatever the frickin' hell it
is in this story while he's trying to wall himself up in his own
room? That doesn't make any sense at all.
"You ~wouldn't~! Don't you do it!"
"I'll do it, I swear I will!"
"Don't you do it!"
No, YOU hang up first!
A few moments of silence, and then...
There a deafening bang, and then
Kuwabara flew into the hallway, hitting the wall behind him
"Ouch," was all he said before falling unconscious.
You mean, "Before he died a horribly painful death," right?
Yusuke stepped out, grinning broadly.
He turnef and saw Hiei and Kurama staring back at him. Yusuke
arched his eyebrows and crossed his arms.
“You can’t tell me you didn’t see that coming.”
...Wow. Is the author actually admitting that she's being
unoriginal and predictable? That doesn't happen very often...
The two yokai looked at each other,
then back at the boy.
"You're right," they said in unison.
Yusuke nodded, satisfied. "I feel better. But maybe you two
should get going." He motioned to Kuwabara. "Ain't gonna be
pretty when he wakes up."
Yeah, 'cause he's really pretty now...
"You're probably right. I'll get my
presents tomorrow, Yusuke. Let's go, Hiei."
Hey, it looks like I was wrong! It looks like Hiei and Kurama
are going to get out of this unscathed after all! Joy to the
Hiei nodded and walked with Kurama to
Yusuke's front door.
"Hey!" Yusuke said, pointing to a place above their heads.
"You're under the mistletoe."
Oh, come ON!
Hiei cocked his head to the side. "And
why does that matter?"
"When you stand under the mistletoe
with someone," Yusuke stated, "you kiss them."
"You kiss them. Why?"
"Christmas tradition, that's all."
That's the lamest excuse to turn someone gay EVER! Way to go,
Yusuke, you ruined Christmas!
"I have to kiss Kurama?"
Yusuke nodded. Hiei looked at Kurama, who looked a bit awkward.
I should probably be questioning as to why the mistletoe hasn't
been mentioned before, as it seems to be positioned above the
threshold of the front door, but I think that I have more
pressing issues at hand. Like throwing up until I pass out.
"Whatever." The smaller yokai stood on
and pressed his lips gently up Kurama's.
This action rather surprised the fox, but he didn't dare pull
away. He had an excuse to kiss his beloved fire yokai. He'd take
advantage of that.
What about their feelings, Bumblebee? Huh?! Say you love
him just once, Kurama! Just ONCE for me!
He pulled Hiei closer, intensifying the
kiss. Hiei did not pull away, so Kurama did not stop. He ran his
tongue over Hiei's lips, begging for entrance, which Hiei
willingly gave. Kurama soon felt as though in a dream. The taste
of his little yokai was pure ecstacy alone. Everything around
them had frozen.
Well it's probably really cold in there after Yusuke blasted all
the walls in his place the hell full of holes.
"Hey...guys?" Yusuke said nervously. "Kurama?
Yusuke: You guys didn't just spontaneously become homosexual,
did you? 'Cause Kuwabara and I already did that.
The two pulled away, staring intently
into the other's eyes.
Hiei was the first to speak.
Hiei: I hate human traditions.
"What's this I'm feeling?" he asked
quietly, reaching for Kurama's hand. He pulled it over his
heart, which was beating very rapidly.
"I believe," Kurama said, smiling, "that you are experiencing
the emotion called 'love'. The name matters not, however, as I
am feeling this, too."
Why doesn't the name matter, again? Oh yeah, I forgot that every
time someone kisses in a fangirl's story, it's automatically
called "love", no questions asked. Silly me.
Hiei leaned into Kurama, his head in
the taller yokai's chest. "I think I like it."
Poor, confused Hiei.
"As do I."
Poor, confused Kurama.
The two stood there a moment, neither
moving. Eventually, Yusuke coughed loudly.
Yusuke: C'mon, guys, let's wrap this sucker up. Kuwabara and I
are going for a beer run in five minutes.
"Um, it's kinda late. Best you two be
"Yes, I suppose. Mother will be worried. Come, Hiei, you will be
staying over tonight."
Hiei: But won't your human mother care that her only son has
suddenly become gay, and his brand-new boyfriend is "sleeping
Kurama: *Blinks* Why? Should she?
Hiei nodded, opening the door.
"Good night, you two lovebirds!"
"I believe that we could say the same to you!" called Kurama.
Yusuke merely blushed and shut the door.
I give up. You might as well just give these people different
names, because they sure as hell aren't the cast of Yu Yu
Hakusho. In fact, I wish that A Happy Little Bumblebee would do
exactly this from now on. She can mutilate her own characters on
her own free time. I also wish for a robot to do all my homework
and chores, that college and life expenses to cost exactly $3.82
per year, and I had my own private jet.
If Jiminy Cricket were here right now, I'd squish him.
Kurama chuckled slightly and Hiei
"Poor Yusuke, I feel sorry for him," Kurama said.
Well, I feel sorry for all of my future psychiatrists, because
they're the ones who are going to have to hear about this story
for years to come!
Hiei shrugged. "I don't care much."
You have no idea how relieved I am to hear him say that.
"Yes, but he's stuck with that loud,
"Whatever. I have what I want," Hiei said, stretching to kiss
Someone, make it stop...
And so, wrapped in each other's arms,
the two yokai spent their most magical Christmas ever.
It's OVER! Ah, I can finally BREATHE again!
* * *
Oh, wow, it's past three o'clock in the morning.
Ha, I got that beat! I'm currently writing this at 5:05 AM, AND
I have classes tomorrow! And now I can't go to sleep at all
because I'm too terrified of the inevitable nightmares! Yay, me!
I've been typing for hours. Well, I
hope you liked it. I'm sorry if there are typos or whatever. I'm
hardly awake. Please, be nice in reviews, flames are welcome,
but if you get mean I'll eat you.
Well, even though that probably applies to me, I don't care.
Nobody can read it now anyway, since you erased all your stories
because people weren't kissing your butt enough. Life's just
funny like that sometimes.
Thanks, happy NICE people!
Well, if that didn't just decimate some of my all-time
favorite anime characters, I really don't know what will! These
fangirls honestly make no sense to me. If they're so "in love"
with these characters, then why do they always them gay? I mean,
they're going to have enough trouble landing dates with these
guys considering the fact that they don't exist, but just
pretend for a moment that they do. How is forcing them to fall
in love with other men helpful to these girls who fantasize
about being romantically involved with them? I mean, it's not
even so much that they make them gay, as it is the fact that
they almost completely turn one or more of the characters into
GIRLS! I'm even going so far as to think that ALL of the
characters are the fangirls' own twisted personifications of
themselves, just so they can get with all of their favorite
characters at once. Wow, now there's a frightening thought!
Seriously though, how many times has Kurama received crotchless
panties for Christmas?! ...Great, now I'm going to be sick
On second thought, no! I don't even want to think of these
"characters" as girls because not all girls are frickin' like
this!! I just don't know what to think!!!
OK, I think... I think I just need to relax.
I can only hope no one else found this to be as infuriating as I
did... Heh... That's an interesting notion... Well, look on the
bright side. Bumblebee is long gone. That's right folks, she
took down her stories from FanFiction.net some time ago.
Although, it is possible that she just got a new screen name. If
she has, I haven't found out about it yet. It's also possible
that she's simply given up on her depraved sexual fantasies and
horribly written stories. Who knows. Either way, there exists no
rest for the wicked, and I'm sure that, even as I type this,
hundreds upon hundreds of bad fanfiction is finding its way onto
the internet in droves. That's why this site and everyone who
chooses to be a part of it will continue to fight the good fight
against the atrocities that plague the internet. That, my
friends, is the Christmas gift we give to you every day of the
Ugh, I need sleep. ...Or some of Atsuko Urameshi's hot chocolate.
-Written by Liz Hastings.