In my ongoing quest to discover
new and creative ways to rope other people into doing as much of
my work for me as possible, I've found that few methods generate
volumes of free, reader-created content as quickly as contests.
The "So Bad It's Scary" contest, which ran in 2006, succeeded in
producing a handful of great fanfiction reviews crafted by some
of the PA Forum's finest members. With interest in fanfiction
deconstruction (or should that be destruction?) having greatly
increased in the years that followed, 2011 seemed like the
perfect time to launch a new contest in which the next
generation of fanfiction critics could compete.
The "Love Sick" Fanfiction Review Contest tasked entrants with
hunting down stories containing themes of romance and ripping
them apart like a bitter ex violently shredding old love
letters. The turnout for the contest was awesome, and some
good-natured competition ensued as the entries were judged and
ranked according to a needlessly complicated point system I came
up with late one night while heavily intoxicated. Amidst the
chaotic confusion, one man rose up to claim absolute victory—a
man the internet shall remember as T_K_17.
The winning entry submitted by T_K_17 was a humorously acerbic
appraisal of a Digimon (of course) fanfiction featuring two of
the main characters turning gay (of course) for no reason
besides the fact that the author fucking felt like it. It's
possibly one of the most clichéd pieces of writing the anime
fandom has ever vomited up, but TK's flippant commentary
provides plenty of amusement and helps immensely at moving
things along in spite of the glacial pace of the plot. An effort
worthy of first place in the bloody arena of fanfiction mockery
competition, to be sure. Excelsior! -
Guest Special: "Desires Unspoken"
(A 'Digimon' fanfiction by
Hi folks, TK here with a powerfully shitty fanfic. This
one is a Digimon yaoi fic featuring two characters who would
never fall in love in a million years. Granted, you could
say that about the couples most authors ship, but in this
case, the entire crux of their relationship on the show was
about how they both wanted to do the same girl. I guess the
author just decided to throw that little detail out the
window before dropping this turd on the net.
The only appropriate response, then, is to take my own shit
on this thing.
(Also, I'll be referring to the characters by their dub
names. Because I like to confuse you.)
Legal Disclaimer: I do not
own Digimon. Toei Entertainment does.
Title: The Warm
The villains in the NeverEnding Story movies just keep
Romance: Daisuke x Takeru
Notes: This is for the Digimon Pairings Challenge, round
Ah, how fitting. This was also written for some sort of
contest. It's like it was meant to be.
Of all the places to get stuck in
the Digital World, it had to be here.
In "Scalding Needles Land".
Daisuke swore under his breath
vividly as he tromped through the snow-covered expanse. If
and when he got the chance, he was going to find out just
what had done this and explain to whatever it was, human or
Digimon, all the interesting reasons why it shouldn't have
been done to them.
"Reason #1: Brrr! It's cold! Reason #2... shit, I'll think
of it later."
'Them' at the moment only meant
himself and Takeru. All the others had made it out safely,
even their Digimon. Before they'd been able to make it
through the portal, something had sealed it, sending them
bouncing backwards and on their respective rear ends.
Fangirls reading this are disappointed that the author
doesn't have them touching each other's rear ends
right from the start. Well they're just going to have to
Now they were trapped here until
they could find another exit, which was why he was trying to
That's some sound logic, there. They need to find an exit,
so let's look for wood!
There! He pounced on a scattered
pile of sticks and did his best to shake the snow off of
them. This would help keep them warm through the night. Now
if Takeru had managed to find them something to eat, it
would be even better. They'd surely be able to live until
Your average able-bodied teenage male is simply much too
weak to last a single night without stuffing his face.
He dragged the sticks back to the
makeshift camp they'd set up and dropped them down as soon
as he got there. "Hey, Takeru! I'm back!" There was no
reply, and he sighed. "Looks like I got back first."
Which meant he was going to have to get a fire going, so
they could cook whatever Takeru scrounged up, if it needed
to be cooked. It wasn't always easy to tell with Digital
World food. Something that looked as if it should be eaten
straight off the tree could need to be boiled or baked or
Ah yes, that crazy "Digital World food", what with its need
to be cooked and whatnot. Surely nothing in the real world
would require any sort of preparation.
What he wouldn't have given for one
of their Digimon, or some Digimon that could handle fire, or
something like that right now.
"Mmm, I sure could go for some Veemon ribs right now..."
He didn't think he had any matches
on him, and rubbing two sticks together would probably take
forever, no matter what the books said about it.
Those stupid books are lyin' and gettin' him pissed.
Daisuke stared at the pile of wood
for a few moments before he started to put it into order.
Next time he knew they were going to be trapped in what was
probably the coldest part of the Digital World, he would
bring matches. Among other things.
Next time he would bring Sora, who would help him with his
taxes while he waited to be... rescued?
What exactly are they doing there? Shouldn't they be looking
for a new exit? I know they have devices that can locate the
nearest one, so unless it's several miles away, I suggest
they head for it now.
Well, he'd just have to take
forever with it if that was what he had to do to get them
warm. There was no way he was going to stand in front of
Yamato and tell him that he'd let the younger blond freeze
because he hadn't had the nerve to rub two sticks together.
If Yamato didn't kill him, he'd do worse:
He'd start an argument with Tai over whether or not Metroid:
Other M was sexist, and Davis would have to watch.
he'd let Angemon loose on him.
Or that. Yeah, I guess that would suck too, kinda.
Daisuke was willing to rub sticks
together all night if it meant he wouldn't have to deal with
Once he had a suitable pile of wood ready to be merrily set
fire to, he started looking for any kind of sticks that
would be able to help with that. He couldn't remember
anything about the sticks having to be particular ones, so
he wound up just grabbing two short ones from the stack he'd
dragged in and started to rub them against each other.
He realized just how much he fucked up when rubbing the
sticks only started a water. I don't even know what
The sticks somewhat squeaked
against each other as he rubbed harder and harder, and they
tended to slip away more than they didn't. Daisuke glared at
them as if that would help, refusing to give up.
Stick: "Aw shit. That guy is glaring at me. I'd better start
a fire, and fast!"
There was a way to do this, he just had to figure it out.
A violent shudder of cold gripped
him suddenly, and he dropped the sticks, wrapping his arms
around himself in an attempt to retain just a little warmth.
He was too cold even to swear, though a few well-chosen
words did wander through his mind. They just didn't stick
around long enough for him to vocalize them.
Words like "Gosh Darn", "Dagnabbit", and "Ass Nigger". Not
sure where he got that last one from.
Then the cold was gone, or at least
had backed off for the moment, as something warm and fluffy
was wrapped around him. He poked his head out of it and
looked down to see he was currently encased in a thick red
blanket that matched his hair. "Um, where did this come
The Great and Mighty Blanket God Guer N'therep has smiled
upon you, Davis. Praise be His holy name, amen.
"I found a collection of wardrobes
over that way," Takeru said as he came from behind Daisuke.
He motioned briefly towards the way he'd been exploring for
food. "They had a lot of these in them, so I brought these
two back for us."
That's so convenient it makes me want to shoot myself in the
He had never been so completely
grateful to the blond in his entire life. There had been
multiple times he would been convinced that he would never
have been grateful in the first place, but he didn't mind
being proven wrong. Not when the proof came in the form of a
lovely warm blanket.
Takeru eyed his collection of would-be firewood, then looked
up at him. Daisuke only partially noticed how nice the blue
blanket that his friend wore went with his eyes. But he did
And that noticing is all it takes... for the Gay to get
"Didn't bring any matches with
"Who brings matches to the Digital World?" Daisuke growled
the words out annoyedly. Takeru was his friend, but there
were just times he wanted to hurt the overly competent boy
so very badly.
Davis: "Provide something useful for me, will ya? You
competent son of a bitch!"
TK: "My blood! You punched out all my blood!"
"I do. Jyou got me into it." Takeru
knelt by the pile of sticks and began to rework them
carefully, his hands moving with near lightning speed before
he leaned back and pulled out a book of matches. If Daisuke
hadn't known how much they needed this warmth, he would've
seriously considered knocking them into the snow, just to be
annoying. As cute as Takeru was, he still got on Daisuke's
nerves once in a great while. Like now.
When he's helping to provide a valuable source of warmth.
Yeah, what an asshole!
In a very few minutes, the blazing
flames of a fire leaped up from the wood, and Daisuke inched
his way closer.
"Flames of a fire", huh? That must got to be the
incrediblest grammar that's been done in the ever.
He'd find some other way to get
back at Takeru for knowing all of this when he didn't. It
was one thing to go camping when one had prepared for it.
Being thrown into it like this was insane.
"Did you happen to find anything to eat out there?"
Takeru sighed as he settled down beside Daisuke. "I wish.
But this place is probably about as short on food as it is
Everything except wardrobes... full of blankets.
"Great." He wished he hadn't
skipped breakfast that morning. He'd been eager to get over
to Koushirou's and see what the redhead had found that was
so important they all had to check it out. It had been
nearly five years since the last serious trouble had cropped
up, and seven years since they'd put paid to Belial Vamdemon.
And forty years since 'Nam.
He rubbed the back of his neck
thoughtfully; there were days when he didn't feel nineteen,
to be honest. He wasn't sure if it was because he was
Daisuke, perpetually unable to grow up, or what.
It probably has to do with the time he entered the "aging
off" console command.
His stomach rumbled as if the
thought of not eating made him want to eat even more. He
wouldn't have been surprised. His every body part liked to
be contrary like that.
His body hates him for making that submission video back
when he thought it would be fun to join the cast of Jackass.
Maybe he should've packed some
snacks or something. They could melt snow for water, at
least, and they'd be out of there as soon as they could in
the morning, anyway.
"Any idea on where the nearest television that works is?"
Maybe that was the only thing that was wrong, the television
they'd tried to use had some sort of glitch or something. At
least it hadn't been an evil Digimon of some kind. Sure,
this was a pain in every body part, but it was survivable.
He hoped no Digimon would show up for a fight, either.
Without their partners, there wasn't much they could do to
Next time he left the house, Davis vowed to bring his
other partners: Smith & Wesson.
"You got me. I did get in touch
with Koushirou while I was checking around for food, though.
Seems the same thing that trapped us here is what had him
all excited. It's some kind of a storm in between the
worlds. It just registered as being here because his laptop
isn't good enough to distiguish between between and here
right now. It'll be cleared up by tomorrow morning and we
can go home."
So it's some storm-thing that's keeping them from leaving; a
storm-thing of unknown origin that exists solely to explain
the "plot" of this story. This may sound like a handy
plot-device (you know, if you're lazy), but it brings up a
1: If the storm is blocking the connection between worlds,
then how was
Koushirou Izzy able to contact TK through it?
2: If this storm-thing is the only reason
sent the whole team to investigate, then he's stupid. You
only really need one person to check if it's anything
important or not. It's not really worth assembling a group
of people who have probably all gotten lives at this point
just to check out some static on your laptop screen.
3: If this thing is blocking the connection between worlds,
then how were they able to reach the Digital World at all?
And why was everyone except Davis and TK able to get back?
If it's because it wasn't powerful enough yet, then why
didn't the kids who were mid-transit at the time get
completely obliterated when the connection was blocked?
4: How do they know it will clear up in the morning?
5: Did General Grievous plan to kill Anakin and Obi-Wan, or
was his plan to let them escape? If so, then why didn't he
leave their— oh wait wrong thing.
Takeru poked at the fire with a
long stick. "You know what would go good right now? Some
Why did he hang out with this guy? Oh, right, they were
What a shame. In exchange for eternal youth, Davis was
cursed with Alzheimer's.
"Don't talk about food. I didn't eat this morning." If it
had been a little warmer, he would have thrown himself back
on the ground to stare moodily at the crystal clear sky.
Assuming the sky had been crystal clear, which it wasn't. It
had been while he was looking for the wood, but now thick
clouds were starting to roll in, and he'd lay some good odds
they were full of snow, too. He didn't want to wonder what
else would go wrong.
It will really suck when they find out that they're stuck in
the Digital World during the annual "Give a Human a
Proctology Exam" Day festival.
"You should have. We could've been here a while trying to
find Koushirou's storm, until he figured out he was wrong
about it all." That had been what they were trying to do
when they'd went through the gate, go back for dinner. He'd
had hopes his mom would make his favorite tonight, too.
Veemon ribs. Mmm...
But since he wouldn't know for hours and hours...
He shot the most annoyed look he had in his arsenal at
Take that, TK!
"I know that. I had the weirdest idea we could go home if
things went too long."
Takeru was quiet for several minutes. When he did say
something, Daisuke almost didn't catch it. "Don't assume you
can just go home when you want to."
There was something really off about the way he said that,
and Daisuke inched a bit closer. "Huh? What did you mean?"
There was no use in beating about the bush, he felt.
"I'm saying you can never assume things will go the way you
want, boy." TK said gruffly while lighting up a cigarette he
found in a pile somewhere that way. "Back in 'Nam you'd be lucky to
go home in a body bag. Some weren't that lucky, my friend.
Some weren't that lucky."
"Nothing." Takeru shook his head and prodded at the fire
again. "We'll be fine. If the others don't find us before
morning, we'll get out of this freeze-zone and find a way
Right. Daisuke couldn't argue with that, even if he'd wanted
to. And if Takeru wanted to clam up about things, then he
wouldn't argue about it either. He knew it was like pulling
teeth to get the blond to say something if he didn't want
to. In fact, pulling teeth would probably be a lot easier.
Besides, he was of the opinion Takeru probably meant
something about his parents' divorce. He could still get
weird about that once in a while.
Oh yeah, he was just like that on the show. Someone would be
all "Hey TK, what are you doing for Christmas?" and he'd be
all "MY PARENTS ARE DIVOOOOORCED!"
"So, I heard you've been working on a novel or something?"
He wasn't going to just let it be quiet, though. There was
enough of that with all this snow. Their voices made it seem
as if things were alive here, instead of everything being
frozen in some kind of suspended animation. That was one
reason he hated snow and ice and winter in general.
Everything was just too blasted quiet!
Yeah! Why can't winter be LOUD LIKE SUN AND GRASS?!
"Yeah. I've kind of been trying put what's happened to us
down. Not perfectly, of course."
"I've taken the liberty of adding zombies to where there
normally weren't. I hear that's all the rage these days."
Takeru's teeth flashed briefly in a smile, and Daisuke did
his best to ignore the way that made him feel like a man in
those parts. He'd been doing his best to deal with the fact
he was finding guys and girls attractive, but why did he
have to start thinking those kinds of thoughts about Takeru?
Why couldn't it have been Ken? He knew Ken would've
understood much better than Takeru.
Little did he know Ken was actually an avid Jack Chick fan.
But, no, his silly fancy had to strike out for the pretty
blond with the deep blue eyes and the smile that lit his
world on fire,
Burning all its inhabitants alive.
and if he didn't stop thinking like this, he was going to
find some kind of ice Digimon, since some had to live around
here, and beg to be frozen alive.
"Do I even want to know what kinds of things you're
"I'd rather not say right now. I'm still not done with the
outline. Could be almost anything once it's done."
"I might write it so that we defeat the bad guy by telling
it what we want to be when we grow up."
"Oh awesome! You should totally do that! Could you imagine
if people actually believed that?"
Daisuke nodded; he'd run into the same thing when he tried
to talk to Yamato about his music. Some things just weren't
supposed to be meddled with ahead of time.
This lack of interference on Davis's part is what led to
Matt writing his magnum opus: Tik Tok.
It could get really annoying. He stared into the flickering
flames, wanting to think of something to talk about that
they could talk about. What could it be? Oh, yeah, he knew.
"So are you Team Edward or Team Jacob?"
"How's that date of yours go? What was her name again..." He
scraped his brain for the last girl Takeru had mentioned he
was going out with. "Um...it was Narita...Narita Ume,
Narita, really? That's her name? Geez, Chris-Chan can come
up with more Japanese sounding names than that.
"Right." Takeru laughed briefly. "You know, you always
remember the names of the girls I go out with. Better than I
How could he not? They were the ones who kept Takeru's
attention away from him.
They must have gotten his attention as well if he were able
to memorize all their fucking names!
No! Bad thoughts! Back, bad thoughts! He was not going to
think them anymore!
Thanks for letting us know, narrator. I thought they were
"Just one of those weird things." He shrugged, pretending it
didn't mean anything to him. "I bet you could name all of my
dates if you really wanted to."
Takeru shrugged briefly. "I haven't really noticed you
dating anyone in the last year, honestly."
"Not counting Rosie Palms, of course, amirite?"
"Shut up, man."
That would be because he hadn't been dating in the last
year. Ever since he'd first started to notice that the
images going through his dreams were those of warm blue eyes
and straw-blond hair, of a male laugh and a friendly jab on
the shoulder instead of a girl's smile and soft...other
Just say "boobs" already.
Boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs
boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs
boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs.
Yeah. Not that those weren't pretty interesting too, but on
the whole... yeah.
Yeah. That's not how you end a sentence. You should really
complete your thought so... yeah.
"Haven't found the right one yet," Daisuke said,
"I don't plan on settling down until I can find a girl who
knows how to get to Sesame Street."
waving one hand carelessly before he tucked it back inside
the blanket. What made this even more insane was that it was
July back on Earth. They shouldn't have had to put up with
this in the summer!
That's kind of a non sequitur, given the context. What makes
this even more insane is that there's a test soon that I
need to study for!
"Still looking, you know."
Takeru made a noncommital noise and placed another branch on
the fire. "Yamato's probably going crazy looking for us."
"You mean you," Daisuke corrected him without any anger. He
knew damned well when it came to Yamato, Takeru was first,
foremost, and only, and that was how it should be.
You mean he was first when you take cookie dough ice cream
out of the equation, anyway.
Not that he thought Yamato would ignore him, but the older
blond's thoughts were going to be centering around the teen
next to him. He hadn't really noticed just how close Takeru
was either, until just now. Had he moved closer? It was hard
to tell. There wasn't that much space between them anyway.
They had to stay close to the fire to stay warm. Too bad
there hadn't been a convenient cave they could have hidden
"You, too." Takeru retorted. "Don't forget it."
Davis: "Forget what?"
TK: "Fucking Alzheimer's!"
"Like I could. But he's looking for you first." Daisuke
glowered at him before he stared into the fire some more. He
wondered once in a while what it would be like to have a
sibling that protective. Jun cared about him, loved him a
lot, and he returned it, but they'd never been as obsessive
as either Takeru or Yamato could be at times. Maybe it had
something to do with how they'd grown up.
Everything was quiet, save for the noise of various kinds of
digital wildlife making their way around, for a long stretch
of time. Daisuke fought off first one yawn, then another. He
didn't want to go to sleep, especially not as the clouds
above slowly began to sprinkle white flakes down on them.
Why couldn't the Digital World have had warm snow? Just as
pretty but without the threat of them freezing to death.
It always has to be about what you want, doesn't it, Davis.
You never stop to think about the poor Digimon who might get
to live another day by feeding off your frozen corpse!
"So, what's the right one going to be like?" The question
came out of nowhere, and he simply stared at Takeru for a
few moments, not at all certain of why he'd asked.
"Huh?" was his reply when he finally did say something.
Takeru laughed, and Daisuke fought back the childish
reaction of shoving him. "I asked what your 'right one' is
going to be like. What are you looking for in someone?"
"Oh. Well I want a girl with the right allocations
Who's fast and thorough
And sharp as a tack
She's playing with her jewelry
She's putting up her hair
She's touring the facility
And picking up slack"
"Oh. Well." Daisuke tried not to answer in the one word he
knew would change more than he wanted to change, which was
simply you. He wasn't ready for that, and he knew Takeru
wasn't either. "I haven't thought about it that much." The
Takeru snorted more of the cocaine he found somewhere
"Wrong. You wouldn't know you were waiting for someone if
you didn't know what you wanted."
"You can't be sure!" Daisuke did shove him this time. It
wasn't a hard one, just enough to let him know that he was
So TK was blind this whole time? Finally, a curveball plot
twist to liven up this boring-ass scene!
"But I guess I could try. It'll kill some time, anyway." He
wasn't certain if sleeping in the snow was all that good of
an idea, even with their blankets. Besides, maybe he could
use this to figure out if he really liked Takeru 'like that'
or not. It could all be in his head. It wasn't as if he were
the only blue-eyed blond in the world. "I guess, someone
nice. But not too nice. You know, someone who can smack me
when I need it. And doesn't mind being smacked if they need
"I want a girl who gets up early
I want a girl who stays up late
I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity
Who uses a machete to cut through red tape
And will make me a goddamn sandwich if she knows what's good
That put Ken out of the running right then and there. The
blue-haired teen would admit when he was wrong, but when it
came to helping someone else figure out when they were
wrong, he shied away every time. Daisuke didn't mind it in
their friendship, but for anything more, it just wouldn't
That's true. All it takes is one kitten and the guy falls
"Go on." Takeru sounded interested. Daisuke didn't want to
think about why. He probably just didn't want to fall asleep
"I don't know, really..." He'd never thought about it like
this before. What could he say that wasn't a description of
Takeru? Every quality he thought of, and some that he wasn't
sure about, meant him. "Someone strong.
Someone who makes me think."
A third-grade math teacher?
There was nothing from the blond and Daisuke thought even
more. He wasn't done yet. "Someone who can really challenge
A fourth-grade math teacher?
Ken did, but not in the way Daisuke really wanted to be
challenged. Ken had lost a lot of his taste for competition
over the last few years. Daisuke couldn't blame him at all,
and it made their friendship even stronger, but this wasn't
friendship he was thinking about.
In fact, he didn't know what he was thinking about.
'Cause of the Alzheimer's, you see.
"What would they look like?" Daisuke should have paid more
attention to the question, but he was so caught up in his
own thoughts all he could do was answer it.
"I want a girl with a short skirt and a looonnng jacket."
"That's easy. They're blond, with blue eyes. Really gorgeous
eyes someone could get lost in." He sighed ever so softly as
a thousand fantasies swarmed his mind at once.
It was as if those fantasies all cried out in terror, and
were suddenly silenced.
Then he almost jumped out of his skin as Takeru's hand
brushed against his. It was so warm, so much warmer than he
had a right to be, and it made Daisuke want to cling to him
in an effort to get all of that warmth into his own body.
How could someone be so warm when it was so cold everywhere
else? What kind of little secret was Takeru holding back on
Oh shit, you figured it out! TK is a Magmar in disguise!
"Um..." He tried to ask a coherent question. It could have
been any of the thousands rampaging through his mind. None
of them made it out in one piece.
"That all sounds pretty familiar," Takeru said at last, his
fingers playing briefly with Daisuke's own.
"In fact, I know a girl just like that!
She wants a car with a cup holder arm rest
She wants a car that will get her there
She's changing her name from Kitty to Karen
She's trading her MG for a white Chrysler La Baron"
"Would that have something to do with why you haven't dated
in so long?"
Again, nothing that made the slightest bit of sense came out
of Daisuke's mouth. Takeru chuckled softly. "Yes or no?"
Somehow or other, Daisuke managed a nod, though he had no
idea of why or how. It just seemed to be the right thing to
do at the moment. He'd been trying to keep something from
Takeru, hadn't he? Or was it the other way around? He
couldn't remember for the life of him.
Davis really needs to be put in a home.
All that he could keep going through his mind was how warm
Takeru felt, and the feeling of those fingers as they slowly
slid up his arm to creep behind his neck in a firm grip for
a moment before Takeru pulled him closer.
"Before we do anything else, I want you to know, I never
kiss someone without at least a promise of a date."
"Fortunately, I already found a whole bag of them somewhere
over that way."
Takeru's blue, blue eyes were staring right into Daisuke's
own, and his mental faculties had long since vanished. Did
this mean Takeru wasn't going to kiss him? "So, once we're
done with this IceDevimon, want to catch a movie or
something? Maybe some dinner? Hit a museum?"
This time, words managed to make it through the haze that
had settled over his mind and tongue. "Not a museum. Too
"I like the idea of dinner, though. Then in the morning,
maybe we can sail to Gamelon to aid Duke Onkled."
"Ever been to one?" Takeru challenged, his eyes reflecting
the firelight in a very appealing way. "Without being on a
school trip, I mean?" Daisuke shook his head, and Takeru
grinned even more. "Then how do you know it's boring? Maybe
you just never went with the right person."
Sorry, but unless you're going with Ben Stiller, a museum is
still boring. Even then, you're just replacing boring with
"Oh, fine." Daisuke found enough sense to roll his eyes, but
he couldn't help feeling as jumpy and happy as Hikari after
one of her photography projects returned with a perfect
That's the most obscure simile anyone has ever thought of.
"We can go to a museum."
"Good. Now that that's settled..."
Daisuke was seldom caught off guard. But when Takeru leaned
forward and brushed their lips softly together, he knew for
a fact he hadn't seen that coming.
Even though he pretty much said he'd kiss you if you agreed
to go on a date, but you probably forgot that too.
He was sure he should have. He just hadn't. But he knew what
to do. He'd done it a few times before.
With Veemon (RIP).
He kissed back, leaning a little closer to the blond,
letting all of the pent-up feelings he'd tried to keep to
himself flow outward.
When they finally drew apart, Takeru wet his lips a little
and looked at him. "Why didn't you say something before?" he
asked at last. "I don't remember you being all that shy when
it came to some of your other crushes."
Shh! Pointing out mistakes is my job, TK... other TK.
"Because you were always dating someone else," Daisuke said
simply. "I'm not going to go poking my nose in where I can
see I'm not wanted.
Oh, of course. We all know that's Davis's defining character
Besides, you never even told me you were interested in
Takeru shrugged briefly. "I'm not."
Daisuke blinked, confused. "You're not?" What had that kiss
been? A pity kiss? The offer of a date, something just to
get Daisuke off of guard? He cursed the day he'd ever
decided he wanted someone to challenge him.
"I'm interested in you." Takeru said quietly,
And thus the ultimate twist is revealed: Davis was a woman
all along and didn't even know! Shyamalan would be so
and Daisuke decided that could be answered only in one way:
by pouncing on him and kissing him again. Takeru didn't seem
to mind, kissing back with equal fervor.
Daisuke wasn't certain of how much time had passed, but the
snow was beginning to ease off some, after not doing much
more than dust the ground with a faint coating of white, and
they were cuddled up by the fire again. It wasn't quite the
same as earlier,
Things were different now.
They'd be ready.
however, as one blanket was spread out beneath them so they
didn't have to sit on the cold ground, and the other was
wrapped around the both of them. Takeru had called it
sharing body warmth. Daisuke preferred to thin of it as a
prelude to making out.
I like to call it bullshit.
Names didn't really appear to matter right now.
"So what do we tell everyone else?" Daisuke wondered, his
arms tightly wound around Takeru.
Just say you're cousins. It worked in Sailor Moon.
"Who said we had to tell them anything?" Takeru challenged
back. "It's not their business."
"I'd rather not get flayed by your brother, Taichi, Hikari,
Iori, or Angemon," Daisuke retorted. "I like my skin right
where it is."
This would be a bad time to mention that the Predator is
towering over them.
"You're not the only one," Takeru chuckled. "I think it
looks best right where it is." He shrugged fluidly. "We tell
them that we kissed and held each other and are going out on
a date. If they can't deal with it..."
"We end them."
"Right." Daisuke hoped they would. One of the last things he
ever wanted to do was get his friends upset at him for
anything he'd done. He sighed and leaned his head against
Takeru's shoulder. "Is it all right to get some sleep?"
"We should manage. Go ahead, rest. We'll be home in a few
hours anyway." Takeru told him. Daisuke nodded, yawned yet
again, and was out of it in moments. Every dream he had, and
he had several, were full of caring arms and blue eyes, and
there was nothing more in the world he could've asked for to
make himself happy and warm.
Urinating in his sleep also helped.
And surprise, surprise, that whole subplot with the
approaching storm is never explained or resolved.
There you have it, "Desires Unspoken". Or "The Warm",
depending on which title you're going by. Was it any good? Well,
it did have everything a good fanfiction needs: a confusing and
dull plot that exists solely to push the author's favorite ship,
continuity errors, and characters who fail to act at all like
they did in the original source material. I guess the story
could have had an annoying self-insert character as icing on the
cake, but as it is, this story could easily get at least ten "OMG
SO CUUUUTE" reviews from retarded fangirls.
In all honesty, this thing is terrible, but not in a way that I
couldn't have fun mocking and others couldn't have fun reading.
At least I think they did, seeing as how I won a contest with
this. If you enjoyed it, then maybe you should go check
out my other work on the forums. Until then (or until I get
another guest special), I guess this is goodbye.
-Written by T_K_17.