Here's a list of miscellaneous
reviews I've written for various fanfics and articles that had
to be quarantined in their own section of the site. Anything
that I feel is deserving of my professional scorn, but is too
short or too strange to cut it as a regular episode of Project
AFTER will eventually end up in here. For the most part, this is
basically a dumping ground for crap I threw together in a few
minutes or wrote as part of some stupid holiday-themed update to
waste time. Enjoy!
"DragonBall: A New
|Back before it got
its own domain, Project AFTER was without a home. In
order to generate interest in the series and
hopefully find a host for it, I put together this brief
pilot episode featuring an ambitiously shitty DragonBall fanfic. Ironically enough, this little
seven-page mockery is what ended up getting this entire site
started in the first place.
"How to Write Almost
|Learn the most
treasured and ancient secrets of writing fanfiction
from some crazy old woman who refers to herself in
the third person and suffers from violent mood
swings. Despite its claims to being a "guide" and
all that, you probably won't actually learn anything from
this that you couldn't learn from studying a toilet
|Type: How-To Guide
||Author: Ms. Nitpicker
|Since there just
aren't enough Evangelion fanfics out there focusing
on how miserable and tormented all of the series'
cast members are, public demand has given us this
story based on the suffering of Shinji, who is
apparently depressed because everyone is dead or
something. Or maybe he's just crazy, like the author
of this disaster.
"Christmas at Sub-Zero"
A charming and poignant yuletide tale that
reminds us all of the true meaning of
Christmas! No, wait, I'm thinking of a different
story... This one reminds us that the holidays
are an extremely dismal and lonely time of year
when past hardships and lost loves are all the
more painful to live with. There's also a
really creepy sex scene.
|Anime: Ranma 1/2
||Author: Sam A. J. Halsall
"Angry About Anime"
|If you thought anime
was just another harmless form of entertainment,
then think again! One very distressed parent speaks
out against the evils of anime in this startling
editorial that reveals how watching Japanese
cartoons will turn any well-mannered, straight 'A' student into a lustful, foul-mouthed killing machine
in the blink of an eye.
|Type: Editorial Column
||Author: Akiko Sakura
|When a married couple
is unable to conceive a child, they decide to take a
vacation in the country in hopes that a change of
scenery will help them make a baby. It doesn't, so
the wife takes the next logical step toward
parenthood by abandoning her husband in the middle of the night
to have sex with loveable Studio Ghibli mascot
|Anime: My Neighbor Totoro
"An Unfamiliar Evil"
|A routine rescue
mission goes awry when Jill Valentine and the rest
of the S.T.A.R.S. team are attacked by the undead
and wind up trapped in a creepy mansion. While that part
may sound familiar, a preposterous plot twist
results in a lot less zombie shooting and a LOT more
violent rape than you probably remember from the PS1
|Game: Resident Evil
||Author: Mugetsu G
rich-boy/professional asshole Sasuke hosts a holiday
soiree in hopes of luring a special visitor he
secretly has a crush on. The guest of honor turns
out to be none other than Naruto, who, thanks to the
magic of extremely unimaginative writing, also
silently harbors feelings for a certain former
rival of his. What a co-inky-dink!
||Author: Star Wolfie
"What If Link Married: Ruto?"
|This inane "what if"
scenario gives readers a glimpse at what life might
be like for the Hero of Time if he had ended his
adventure by shacking up with a certain
aquatically-inclined princess. In an unexpected
display of realism, Link's married life is banal,
tedious, and utterly devoid of anything that would
make for an interesting story.
|Game: The Legend of Zelda: OoT