Welcome to the official Project AFTER homepage! If this is your first time visiting, then please come in and enjoy the site's many exciting and comical features* that exist solely for your entertainment. Please feel free to bookmark the site in case you want to come back and view it again at a later time. Return visitors are almost unheard of around here, but hey, maybe you'll have unusually low standards or something. "But hold on a minute. What is this 'Project AFTER' phenomenon you speak of, anyway?" If that's what you were thinking just now, then congratulate yourself for pondering a damn good question! First, let's start with the meaning behind the site's rather cryptic title. Project A.F.T.E.R. is an acronym for:

Project Anime Fanfiction: Twisted Entertainment Review


This previously top-secret operation is the result of many years of costly and tiresome research to discover what exactly is causing modern society to plunge into its current downward spiral toward oblivion. Astonishingly, all test results have thus far pointed to one horrifying conclusion. War, pollution, disease, world hunger, natural disasters, cosplayers... They all stem from the same vile source: bad anime fanfiction.

Admittedly, it may seem harmless enough at first glance, but in reality it is a potent, all-consuming evil that has silently corrupted humanity since the dawn of time (and, by "the dawn of time", I mean the mid 1980s). Today, bad anime fanfiction is content to waste your precious online web-surfing time with its seemingly never-ending tedium and idiocy that has infected hundreds upon hundreds of unsuspecting websites. Tomorrow, however, it may very well be out murdering your children and setting fire to your homes.

While the future may seem ridden with pain and despair, all is not lost! Through Project AFTER, a creation that can only be described as a demonstration of human ingenuity at its finest, I will select promising pieces of anime fanfiction that have unfortunately ended up in the realm of awfulness. By providing an astute running commentary within the fanfiction, I hope to inform readers of how to identify bad fanfics, and even more importantly, how to avoid writing them. Such a concept may seem to some of you like little more than an uninspired way for me to publicly display malicious outbursts of rage to help me deal with my own inner suffering while garnering attention from strangers over the internet, but I assure you that I am doing this strictly for the good of humanity! Why? Because that's just the kind of selfless guy I am.

If you're interested in learning more about my epic struggle to save all mankind, then please feel free to take a look around the site and see what one man is doing to save the world which he so dearly loves... One bad fanfiction at a time.

*Note: Features contained within this site are not guaranteed to be exciting or comical.

 

 

 

 

News and Updates

 

 

December 24, 2014

Before we get started on today's update, I'd like to publicly state my disappointment in Sony Pictures for their decision to screen The Interview after previously canceling the film at the demand of North Korean hackers. I know the studio came under a lot of fire for initially responding to ambiguous threats of terrorism by filling an Olympic-size swimming pool with submissive urine, but in their defense, those hackers shocked the entire world when they proved that North Korean did in fact have access to working computers. Personally, I think "better safe than sorry" is a wise philosophy in a situation like this. Let's not forget the North Korean military has the technology to fire missile-shaped hunks of scrap metal hundreds of feet into the Pacific Ocean.

Call me a coward if you must, but I'M not taking any chances. I hereby pledge my loyalty to Kim Jong-un and his army of uncle-devouring dogs. With the glorious stench of authority wafting down from betwixt his mighty belly folds, I know my future is safe from the threat of unconsumed buckets of bacon grease. Hail to thee, Supreme Leader! Within the shadow of your majestically planet-like head, we shall forever bask in freedom from the fear of death—for we are already dead inside.

I can think of no better way to honor the living mass of enchanted pig anuses that is North Korea's leader than by updating the Cosplay Caption Contest section of the site. In addition to a number of improvements to the existing pages, you can also enjoy the brand new 11th collection of winning captions. Thanks to the enduring success of the CCC, this and all future collections will each feature the results of TEN contests instead of eight! You can't stop the bad cosplay train, so don't even try.

One more announcement before we wrap things up for the year: Project AFTER is now on Patreon! Taking the crowdfunding route wasn't exactly my first choice, but this is ultimately a much better strategy for ensuring the hosting fees get paid than relying on donations. Using Patreon provides a stable way to cover recurring expenses, tells donors how much is coming in each month, and—best of all—it allows me to reward you folks for your help with some cool bonuses. It's the best compromise I can come up with when I have no other way to maintain an income and still have time to set aside to work on this site. For example, I wanted to make this update as enormous and grand as Kim Jong-un's regally colossal ass, but I was forced to settle for the kind of meager offering you'd expect from a citizen of a pathetic capitalist nation. With your help, we can build a better PA and reach the stars to look upon our new ruler's magnificently doughy visage... forever!
 

 

 

October 23, 2014

Let's keep this momentum going with another update! Who wants to read some more articles about Gamergate?! Ha ha, just kidding. We'll save that for next time. There's no reason to rush because Christ knows people will still be talking about this shit six months from now.

In the meantime, I think you folks deserve a little release... A little Comic Release, that is! Maximilian "Maximum" D. Vader (a.k.a. Max-Vader) has served up another sizzlin' skillet of sumptuous webcomic reviewery, cooked extra crispy and drizzled in hate—just the way the regulars like it! This time, his critical eye is focused on The Lounge, a long-running webmanga drawn by beloved bestiality enthusiast John Joseco. I can't wait to see what kind of hatemail we get over this one.

Publishing this review marks the end of an era. The Lounge was among the original ten webcomics I talked about in a canceled PA feature that predates Comic Release (which, for those who don't remember, debuted on this site in 2006), making Joseco's disaster of a comic the most enduring occupant in the CR queue. Part of me is almost sad to see it go—and yet, I feel a sense of pride at the same time. I imagine this must be how educators feel when their dumbest student finally graduates after eight years. In any case, this is the last time I'll know for certain what's next up on the chopping block. I guess Max could always tell me what he's got in store for future articles, but gosh darn it, not knowing is kind of exciting. That doesn't mean you folks couldn't conceivably influence the selection process in some way, though. For instance, say if you happened across an anime-style webcomic you felt was the recipient of undeserved popularity and decided to suggest said webcomic to Max via Twitter. I can't imagine there'd be any problem with that. (If you wanted to check out my Twitter while you were at it, you could do that too. You know, hypothetically.)

Before I wrap this up, I have an important announcement for all present and future members of the PA Forums: Keep your eyes on the Cosplay Caption Contest section, because bi-weekly contests will resume this Saturday! You boys n' girls asked for it, so now you're getting it right in the face. That's Saturday, October 25th. Mark your calendar or camp out in front of your computer with a blanket and a can of beans and keep hitting refresh until a new contest thread appears. Your call. Either way, BE THERE.

 

 

September 27, 2014

I could write up a lengthy post explaining why PA has been inactive for so many months, but I feel like that would be a waste of everyone's time. The important thing is what comes next, right? As the great philosopher Bruce Lee said, "Running water never grows stale, so you just have to keep on flowing." Let's be water, my friends.

If this happens to be your first time on the internet, I can only recommend you run as far away from this and every other online-enabled device as you can. All the free pornography and Cyber Monday sales aren't worth the mental anguish and misanthropy-induced depression the net will inevitably plunge you into. If, however, you've been entangled in the World Wide Web for more than a day, there's a decent chance you've encountered some mention of Gamergate by now. Because I can't imagine anyone ever getting sick of this topic, I invite you to check out Gamergate: What Went Wrong. Whether you've been following the scandal from the beginning or lack the faintest clue what all the hubbub is about, this thorough play-by-play will get you up to speed on all the sordid details of one of the biggest controversies to rock the internet this month.

My original plan for this article was to shop it around to a handful of sub-mainstream gaming news sites to see if anyone was interesting in picking it up. While increased exposure and the possibility of some compensation were tempting, I felt a little guilty handing away content when my own site was so long overdue for an update. Not only is the piece now a PA exclusive, but the version hosted here is significantly less processed than the one I'd intended to market (for example, the original version had 100% fewer instances of the term "assclowns").

Regrettably, as much as I relish the creative freedom, the lack of expansion into more potentially profitable territory is something I can't keep up much longer. Times are tough, and bandwidth ain't free. Accepting donations has allowed me to continuing focusing on this site while reducing the burden of server fees during a stretch when paying the essential bills hasn't left much in the bank. I know I'm not the only one tightening his belt right now, but anything at all is appreciated. If you want to see this site continue to grow and have even a couple bucks to spare, every little bit helps immensely.

 

 

December 24, 2013

Well, this is embarrassing. Even though overshooting a planned timeframe for an update has become a trademark feature of my MO, I usually don't miss the target by multiple months with nothing to show for it.

I have a whole freight car full of excuses I could dump all over this post to fill space, but I'd just be wasting everyone's time. To cut to the chase, the second half of 2013 has been a hectic time for me. Some rather sobering events have recently led me to rearrange my priorities, and PA wound up in a position much further down the list than it previously occupied. Hence the coating of dust you've no doubt noticed gradually accumulating on this page.

The good news is that I haven't pushed this site off of my radar completely. I've got multiple new pieces of content already in the works, in fact. That major redesign I teased in the last update is still scheduled to go live as well, although it will likely be happening later than I originally planned. Things are moving forward. They're moving slowly, but I'm okay with that—my hope is that you all are, too.

At the beginning of this year, I asked everyone still following PA for their patience as I tried to get some things in my personal life sorted out and set to work figuring out where the hell I was going with this site and its community. I believe I got exactly what I asked for, and for that I am immeasurably grateful. I only wish I had a better way to express my appreciation for everyone's support and dedication than with another nebulous promise that new material is just beyond the horizon. Regrettably, the only gift I have to give my readers this Christmas Eve is the gift of hesitant optimism. Think of this as a sort of Project AFTER empty box campaign, I guess.

The one item on my to-do list for the site I was able to cross off is completing some long overdue maintenance on the Links page. A couple new links are up, while a few more have been axed—most notably, VG Cats has finally been removed from my personal lineup of choice online attractions. Because fuck you anyway, Scott Ramsoomair. I gave you chance after chance to be funny again, and what do you do? Start hawking Nigel Thornberry and doge meme t-shirts!? You piece of shit. You miserable waste of physical matter.

But I digress. Check out the updated Links page if you want my recommendations for some good ways to keep busy during the remainder of the site's hibernation. I'd actually like to recommend you leave the house and meet some people, maybe learn a new skill or something, BUT we all know THAT ain't happening anytime soon! Not when wasting your life is this blissfully easy.

Have yourselves a merry little Christmas, folks. See you back here in 2014.