Welcome to the official Project AFTER homepage! If this is
your first time visiting, then please come in and enjoy the
site's many exciting and comical features* that exist solely
for your entertainment. Please feel free to bookmark the site
in case you want to come back and view it again at a later
time. Return visitors are almost unheard of around here, but
hey, maybe you'll have unusually low standards or something.
"But hold on a minute. What is this 'Project AFTER'
phenomenon you speak of, anyway?" If that's what you were
thinking just now, then congratulate yourself for pondering
a damn good question! First, let's start with the meaning
behind the site's rather cryptic title. Project A.F.T.E.R. is an
Project Anime Fanfiction:
Twisted Entertainment Review
This previously top-secret operation is the result of many
years of costly and tiresome research to discover what
exactly is causing modern society to plunge into its current
downward spiral toward oblivion. Astonishingly, all test
results have thus far pointed to one horrifying conclusion.
War, pollution, disease, world hunger, natural disasters,
cosplayers... They all stem from the same vile source: bad
Admittedly, it may seem harmless enough at first glance, but
in reality it is a potent, all-consuming evil that has
silently corrupted humanity since the dawn of time (and, by
"the dawn of time", I mean the mid 1980s). Today, bad anime
fanfiction is content to waste your precious online
web-surfing time with its seemingly never-ending tedium and
idiocy that has infected hundreds upon hundreds of
unsuspecting websites. Tomorrow, however, it may very well
be out murdering your children and setting fire to your
While the future may seem ridden with pain and despair, all
is not lost! Through Project AFTER, a creation that can only
be described as a demonstration of human ingenuity at its
finest, I will select promising pieces of anime fanfiction
that have unfortunately ended up in the realm of awfulness.
By providing an astute running commentary within the
fanfiction, I hope to inform readers of how to identify bad fanfics, and even more importantly, how to avoid writing
them. Such a concept may seem to some of you like little
more than an uninspired way for me to publicly display
malicious outbursts of rage to help me deal with my own
inner suffering while garnering attention from strangers
over the internet, but I assure you that I am doing this
strictly for the good of humanity! Why? Because that's just
the kind of selfless guy I am.
If you're interested in learning more about my epic struggle
to save all mankind, then please feel free to take a look
around the site and see what one man is doing to save the
world which he so dearly loves... One bad fanfiction at a
*Note: Features contained within this site are not
guaranteed to be exciting or comical.
News and Updates
April 01, 2015
Hey there, kids! For today's update, I've got some good news and
bad news. Let's start with the bad news: You know that whole
thing I've been doing with the epic struggle to save mankind
from bad fanfiction? That's canceled. I've avoided admitting
defeat for as long as I could, but I can't keep my head buried
in the sand any longer. It's time I manned up and faced the
dismal reality that fanfiction has beaten me. 50 Shades of Grey
is pulling in hundreds of millions of dollars across multiple
mediums, fanfiction is now
course taught at an Ivy League university, and my attempts
to convince the FBI that Xing Li is a terrorist continue to end
in failure. I'm not the kind of guy who calls it quits on a
whim, but you've got to know when to throw in the towel before
the mat gets any bloodier.
Don't feel too bummed out, though, because here comes the good
news: Although I'm waving the white flag at the fanfiction
menace, I have no intention of abandoning PA. Instead of closing
down the site, I've decided to repurpose it as the internet's
headquarters for the war against a different kind of terrible
writing. My new target? Cosmopolitan articles!
I'm still in the process of figuring out exactly how to format
the site to accommodate its new purpose—we'll obviously need to
look at a name change, for one thing—but I can guarantee that
readers will experience the same standard of quality that has
always been an indelible hallmark of Project AFTER—or Project
CATER, as it might soon come to the called. To prove I'm not
just throwing around empty management rhetoric, I've put
together a little preview of the kind of content you'll see on
this site from now on. Please enjoy
Cosmopolitan's All-Time Worst Advice: Volume 1.
The site should be updated with a new section devoted to Cosmo's
celebrity gossip by the end of the month, with a series of
features debunking their columnists' suggested sex techniques
debuting soon after. In the meantime, I need to update some
paperwork so I can continue declaring Project WHATEVER a
religious organization. Having a noble cause is nice, but having
a tax-exempt vacation condo is a hell of a lot nicer.
December 24, 2014
Before we get started on today's update, I'd like to publicly
state my disappointment in Sony Pictures for their decision to
screen The Interview after previously canceling the film at the
demand of North Korean hackers. I know the studio came under a
lot of fire for initially responding to ambiguous threats of
terrorism by filling an Olympic-size swimming pool with
submissive urine, but in their defense, those hackers shocked
the entire world when they proved that North Korean did in fact
have access to working computers. Personally, I think "better
safe than sorry" is a wise philosophy in a situation like this.
Let's not forget the North Korean military has the technology to
fire missile-shaped hunks of scrap metal hundreds of feet into
the Pacific Ocean.
Call me a coward if you must, but I'M not taking any chances. I
hereby pledge my loyalty to Kim Jong-un and his army of
uncle-devouring dogs. With the glorious stench of authority
wafting down from betwixt his mighty belly folds, I know my
future is safe from the threat of unconsumed buckets of bacon
grease. Hail to thee, Supreme Leader! Within the shadow of your
majestically planet-like head, we shall forever bask in freedom
from the fear of death—for we are already dead inside.
I can think of no better way to honor the living mass of
enchanted pig anuses that is North Korea's leader than by
updating the Cosplay Caption Contest
section of the site. In addition to a number of improvements to
the existing pages, you can also enjoy the brand new
11th collection of winning captions.
Thanks to the enduring success of the CCC, this and all future
collections will each feature the results of TEN contests
instead of eight! You can't stop the bad cosplay train, so don't
One more announcement before we wrap things up for the year:
Project AFTER is now on Patreon! Taking the crowdfunding
route wasn't exactly my first choice, but this is ultimately a
much better strategy for ensuring the hosting fees get paid than
relying on donations. Using Patreon provides a stable way to
cover recurring expenses, tells donors how much is coming in
each month, and—best of all—it allows me to reward you folks for
your help with some cool bonuses. It's the best compromise I can
come up with when I have no other way to maintain an income and
still have time to set aside to work on this site. For example,
I wanted to make this update as enormous and grand as Kim Jong-un's
regally colossal ass, but I was forced to settle for the kind of
meager offering you'd expect from a citizen of a pathetic
capitalist nation. With your help, we can build a better PA and
reach the stars to look upon our new ruler's magnificently
doughy visage... forever!
October 23, 2014
Let's keep this momentum going with another update! Who wants to
read some more articles about Gamergate?! Ha ha, just kidding.
We'll save that for next time. There's no reason to rush because
Christ knows people will still be talking about this shit six
months from now.
In the meantime, I think you folks deserve a little release... A
little Comic Release, that is!
Maximilian "Maximum" D. Vader (a.k.a. Max-Vader) has served up
another sizzlin' skillet of sumptuous webcomic reviewery, cooked
extra crispy and drizzled in hate—just the way the regulars like
it! This time, his critical eye is focused on
The Lounge, a long-running webmanga
drawn by beloved bestiality enthusiast John Joseco. I can't wait
to see what kind of hatemail we get over this one.
Publishing this review marks the end of an era. The Lounge was
among the original ten webcomics I talked about in a canceled PA
feature that predates Comic Release (which, for those who don't
remember, debuted on this site in 2006), making Joseco's
disaster of a comic the most enduring occupant in the CR queue.
Part of me is almost sad to see it go—and yet, I feel a sense of
pride at the same time. I imagine this must be how educators
feel when their dumbest student finally graduates after eight
years. In any case, this is the last time I'll know for certain
what's next up on the chopping block. I guess Max could always
tell me what he's got in store for future articles, but gosh
darn it, not knowing is kind of exciting. That doesn't mean you
folks couldn't conceivably influence the selection process in
some way, though. For instance, say if you happened across an
anime-style webcomic you felt was the recipient of undeserved
popularity and decided to suggest said webcomic to Max
Twitter. I can't imagine there'd be any problem with that.
(If you wanted to check out
Twitter while you were at it, you could do that too. You
Before I wrap this up, I have an important announcement for all
present and future members of the PA Forums: Keep your eyes on
Cosplay Caption Contest section, because bi-weekly contests
will resume this Saturday! You boys n' girls asked for it, so
now you're getting it right in the face. That's Saturday,
October 25th. Mark your calendar or camp out in front of your
computer with a blanket and a can of beans and keep hitting
refresh until a new contest thread appears. Your call. Either
way, BE THERE.
September 27, 2014
I could write up a lengthy post explaining why PA has been
inactive for so many months, but I feel like that would be a
waste of everyone's time. The important thing is what comes
next, right? As the great philosopher Bruce Lee said, "Running
water never grows stale, so you just have to keep on flowing."
Let's be water, my friends.
If this happens to be your first time on the internet, I can
only recommend you run as far away from this and every other
online-enabled device as you can. All the free pornography and
Cyber Monday sales aren't worth the mental anguish and
misanthropy-induced depression the net will inevitably plunge
you into. If, however, you've been entangled in the World Wide
Web for more than a day, there's a decent chance you've
encountered some mention of Gamergate by now. Because I can't
imagine anyone ever getting sick of this topic, I invite you to
check out Gamergate: What
Went Wrong. Whether you've been following the scandal from
the beginning or lack the faintest clue what all the hubbub is
about, this thorough play-by-play will get you up to speed on
all the sordid details of one of the biggest controversies to
rock the internet this month.
My original plan for this article was to shop it around to a
handful of sub-mainstream gaming news sites to see if anyone was
interesting in picking it up. While increased exposure and the
possibility of some compensation were tempting, I felt a little
guilty handing away content when my own site was so long overdue
for an update. Not only is the piece now a PA exclusive, but the
version hosted here is significantly less processed than the one
I'd intended to market (for example, the original version had
100% fewer instances of the term "assclowns").
Regrettably, as much as I relish the creative freedom, the lack
of expansion into more potentially profitable territory is
something I can't keep up much longer. Times are tough, and
bandwidth ain't free.
Accepting donations has allowed me to continuing focusing on
this site while reducing the burden of server fees during a
stretch when paying the essential bills hasn't left much in the
bank. I know I'm not the only one tightening his belt right now,
but anything at all is appreciated. If you want to see this site
continue to grow and have even a couple bucks to spare, every
little bit helps immensely.