Welcome to the official Project AFTER homepage! If this is your first time visiting, then please come in and enjoy the site's many exciting and comical features* that exist solely for your entertainment. Please feel free to bookmark the site in case you want to come back and view it again at a later time. Return visitors are almost unheard of around here, but hey, maybe you'll have unusually low standards or something. "But hold on a minute. What is this 'Project AFTER' phenomenon you speak of, anyway?" If that's what you were thinking just now, then congratulate yourself for pondering a damn good question! First, let's start with the meaning behind the site's rather cryptic title. Project A.F.T.E.R. is actually an acronym for:

Project Anime Fanfiction: Twisted Entertainment Review

News and Updates

April 02, 2012

Okay, I think that's everything... Welcome back to classic Project AFTER, folks! I apologize for yesterday's disruptions. I've been under a great deal of stress lately and I guess it finally caught up with me. Thankfully, this little incident has prompted me to reevaluate my medication regimen, and I think I've discovered a new combination of pills that does the job of evening me out much better than before.

To celebrate the fact that I can now look in the mirror without seeing a hideous, twitching pile of rotted flesh covered in gaping holes that perpetually vomit out spiders, I went ahead and finished working on something that's been sitting at the top of my to-do list for a few weeks now. Good old Max-Vader has been continuing his mission to scour the internet for the worst webcomics in existence. Most recently, his efforts have brought him face-to-face with an inexplicably popular series of gore-soaked short stories called United States Angels Corps. If you've never heard of this bizarre attempt at combining torture porn with regular porn, everything you don't need to know has been fully documented in Comic Release Part XII. Please be advised that, even though Max and I have gone to great lengths to shield you folks from the worst bits of stomach-churning horrendousness seen in the illustrated shit stain that is USAC, the content described in that article is still pretty damn disturbing, even as far as this site's usual standards go. Reader discretion is strongly advised.

With that out of the way and everything else back to normal—or whatever it is that attempts to pass itself off as "normal" here at PA—I think I'm going to take the next couple of weeks off and try to catch up on my sleep a bit before resuming a regular update schedule again. I couldn't even throw out a rough estimation of how many all-nighters I've pulled since these nightmares started... Not that I'm afraid to go to sleep or anything like that. After all, these aren't the kinds of nightmares you get to wake up from. Haha! Heh, hehehehaha ha ha.....

Ah ha ha ha....... Heheh haaaa ha ha goddamn it is fucking FREEZING IN HERE.

February 14, 2012

If you hate rants about Valentine's Day written by embittered shut-ins who blame their loneliness on some grand conspiracy organized by greeting card companies to make them feel depressed, then I have some good news for you: the new editorial My Bloody Annoying Valentine is NOT one of those. If anything, it's more of a rousing pep talk—albeit one thoroughly saturated with foul language and acerbic insults—designed to pull the plug on any seasonal pity party my readers might be throwing for themselves. And if you're one of the folks currently enjoying a little romance in their lives, don't worry; I've got plenty of verbal abuse lined up for your conceited ass too. Because I can't think of a better time than Valentine's Day to dole out some tough love.

Unlike many of the pieces I've started to work on and subsequently abandoned over the past several months, I found I actually enjoyed writing this article. As far as the writing process goes, this one was very reminiscent of oldschool PA, back when most of the new content that went up on the site was something I would begin composing on a whim, finish a rough draft of in one or two sittings, and publish online a couple of days later. It felt really good to get back to basics.

I must admit that I've been feeling as though I'm under an ever-increasing amount of pressure to outdo myself with each new update as of late. Having fun working on a new piece of content for once has helped me realize how silly that is. Realistically, I'm never going to be able to compete with the bigger and more elaborate staff-operated websites out there, so it's pointless to stress myself out trying. To that end, I've decided that I'm going to take my webmaster duties a little less seriously and go back to using this site as a device for my own entertainment as much as anyone else's. I can't promise this more relaxed attitude will result in more frequent updates, but at least I shouldn't be forced to rely on guest content to keep the site afloat as much as I have during the past several months.

So... Yeah. Feel free to disregard the previous couple paragraphs and all the meandering drivel contained therein; I'm putting them up for my own benefit more than anything, in the hope that they'll help me remember to treat this site less like a job and more like a hobby. In addition, I'm also making a note for myself to make these news updates less TL;DR from now on.

Anyway, check out the new editorial and enjoy what's left of your Valentine's Day (or "Singles Awareness Day" if you're the kind of sad sack who likes to play that game).

February 05, 2012

As the writers of the hit musical Avenue Q assured us, the internet is for porn. If the internet has any definite secondary purpose, it would most likely be for socialization—or at least the kind of unfulfilling, imaginary socialization that occurs between people who never come into direct contact with each other and only "interact" by looking at messages and pictures on a computer screen. Thus, we have the 21st century definition of networking: acknowledging the works of people you pretend to have some personal connection with in the hopes that they will acknowledge you in turn so you can receive more attention from more people you'll never meet in reality.

With this inspiring thought as my motivation, I was recently able to overcome my hatred of updating the site's link page long enough to update the site's links page. Sadly, most of the changes involve the removal of dead links (never thought I'd live to see Portal of Evil bite the dust). There are, however, a couple of additions to the list for you folks to check out. I hope to add more friendly URLs worthy of mention in the future, but a lack of time to go hunting for them means I'm usually forced to rely on other folks bringing the links to me (something I encourage anyone reading this to do if they know of a site PA would do well to associate with). Oh, and there's also a new ad banner for PA located at the bottom of the page. Feel free to post it on your website, blog, Tweeterbook profile, forum signature, or anywhere else you want to let people know what impeccable taste in online entertainment you have.

I didn't want the site's first update of 2012 to consist of something as unexciting as a routine link cleanup, but I figured it was getting way too long past due for me to put something up here. I already missed the opportunity to update in January, and experience has taught me that even devout readers will jump ship if a site so much as gives the appearance that it might be drifting toward inactivity. Not that I haven't been paying attention to the site in any capacity; on the contrary, one of the projects that's been eating up the biggest chunk of my time during the past month is overseeing a major software upgrade for the Project AFTER Forums. In addition to improved security and some aesthetic improvements, the forums now offer members a host of new features to enhance their posting experience: we've added video embedding in posts, more customizable profile pages, easier page navigation, and more. If you've been thinking about taking the plunge and joining the community, now is the perfect time to sign up.

As for the site itself, I fully intend to get more new content up as soon as my schedule allows me to work on it. I've got some big plans in store that should make 2012 one hell of a pulse-pounding thrill ride for readers who are easily excited by looking at static pages on a monitor. In the meantime, remember to turn off all your various web-browsing devices and go outside every once in a while. A lot of it may not exist anymore, but they've still got some pretty amazing stuff out there in the real world.

December 30, 2011

Just when you thought PA wouldn't see another update before 2012 hit, here I am to take your expectations and slap them upside the head before demanding they grab me a cold beer and iron my shirts. A lot of things happened earlier in the month that managed to obliterate my planned update schedule, hence the reason this one is getting rushed out the door at the last minute. I'm not going to patronize you by pretending that I think you care about the specifics of what's been keeping me busy, so let's skip all that and jump right into the meat of this update.

The holidays may be winding down by now, but hopefully you folks can still summon up a little seasonal spirit and enjoy a newly revised version of the 7th Special, Christmas Fluff. I was never satisfied with the original draft of that one when I first uploaded it years ago, and for a long time it's stuck in my mind as being one of the weakest fanfiction reviews on the entire site. This new version (which has been painstakingly rewritten and enhanced to make the leap all the way from "unreadable" up to "not terrible but still disappointingly unfunny") was supposed to be a special Christmas gift to both my readers and my nagging sense of inadequacy; unfortunately, I wasn't able to finish the revisions in time to get the thing online before Christmas. So just consider this a late present, like the kind you get from those friends who obviously got you something in a panicked rush three weeks after they'd finished the rest of their shopping because they didn't expect to get anything from you but now they feel obligated to reciprocate the gesture to make it look like they give a shit and hopefully avoid any further awkwardness the next time they see you.

Continuing the theme of stuff going up later than it should have, this next item cranks the lateness up to eleven! Forum regular Screaming Soulcatcher sent me a guest editorial last August(!!) that fell to the back of my overcrowded list of guest content pieces to upload and has sat in my inbox during two season changes. Thankfully, not only does SS happen to be the Champion Grand Master of Patience, but the article he wrote feels just as fresh now as it did last summer. So make sure you take some time to read Panty and Stocking: A Casual Perspective on Animated Garbage. You'll applaud his opinions if you hate Panty and Stocking, and you'll love them even more if you like Panty and Stocking. Because there is no greater pleasure for an opinionated anime nerd than the chance to send some vitriolic hate-mail to someone they disagree with.

Last on the agenda, I've recently been involved with a project that begs to be plugged here. While it's not directly related to this site per se, anyone who enjoys the kind of dark, angry, ultra-cynical humor found here should be able to appreciate The Other Side. That link points to a new podcast series starring yours truly and Cody "Shmeckie" Baier (who you'll remember as the guy who used to write Comic Release before Max-Vader took over) now appearing on the popular multimedia site Anime 3000. Each podcast consists of Cody and myself discussing some subject related to anime, various fandoms, internet subcultures, or anything else we can come up with to talk shit about for roughly an hour. Each episode is packed with of foul language and hateful ramblings sure to spark plenty of controversy, because that's how we roll.

Speaking of rambling, this post is already running longer than I intended. Thanks to all the readers and contributors who made 2011 such an incredible year for Project AFTER! Despite things slowing down a little over the past few months, this has been a hugely successful year for PA that saw record hits for both the website and the forums. Here's to making the community even stronger in 2012!